as i grow
I remember when I was young,
Living in a little blue house in a busy little neighborhood.
There, with my father, my mother, and my sister.
Playing in the mud,
Splashing in the water,
Having dance parties,
Watching our dogs hide in the pompous grass,
Wondering where they had gone.
Hiding inside when the butterfly eggs hatched,
Thousands of black spiky caterpillars exploring high and low.
Reading Charlotte’s Web,
Naming two orb weavers Charlotte and Wilbur.
My sister and I
Sneaking off,
To our own “secret places” with mom.
Laughing and giggling in the craft store,
Chowing down on warm and fluffy pancakes at Denny’s
Bonding together.
I remember my favorite secret place:
A little trail by a tributary where we would enjoy the peacefully quiet and crisp cold air.
Finding Wilbur once more,
After he moved on from our front yard.
I remember preschool.
Making friends and colored storm clouds from shaving cream and food dye and water.
Wanting to mix all the colors and ending up with black, but still feeling proud with myself.
I remember wearing my favorite color red,
Playing with all the dinosaur toys: Triceratops, T-rex, brachiosaurus, and stegosaurus.
I remember primary school.
I remember Kindergarten being tough.
I remember I would go to a small later class: The Later Gators,
My teacher: Mrs. Thomas,
I don’t think she understood me,
She probably found me annoying.
I love the playground though,
Some older second grade girls teach me how to swing.
They push me high,
And tell me,
“Don’t forget to pump your legs!”
I remember not making many friends within my class,
Though I try my best.
First grade I enjoy!
My family and I moving into a new and bigger house with my baby brother Ben.
Meaning a brand-new school with brand new friends.
My new teacher,
Warm and pleasant.
I remember petting her leopard gecko Brownie.
Making a good friend then too.
Her name is Kalie (pronounced Kal E) though she always spells it Kaylee.
She arrived later in the school year.
Both liking the movie Bolt,
And getting along marvelously.
Together playing on the colorful playground and always having things to talk about.
Second grade was ok,
We are growing.
Kaylee and I still the best of friends.
Even becoming a trio with our new friend Charlotte.
We love to play with our Shopkins during break on the hard blacktop,
With a classroom number,
Painted in white.
Happy with my friends,
But becoming tired by other girls,
laughing at me…
In a way,
Never really caring,
Until I did,
In second grade it becomes tiresome…
I remember Third grade,
I decide to homeschool like my little sister Lila,
In hopes I could avoid the pranks…
And laughing in front or behind my back.
Homeschool is lovely!
I am still finding it that way now.
Though I do miss my friend Kaylee,
And wonder,
If she misses me too.
Fast forward to this year.
A lot has changed since I was little.
I have a new best friend: Cordelia,
She is the apple of my eye,
I have another brother Ollie,
He is turning five!
I am now in eighth grade,
Blessed and happy to be so fortunate.
Blessed with a smile in hard times.
You could even say that I am an eccedentesiast.
If you search up its meaning you may find that suits me well:
A person who hides pain behind a smile.
I like to be there for my friends;
I like to make sure they’re okay.
I don’t like to grieve in groups,
I find I grieve better alone.
I may change that,
Who knows,
I am still growing,
Finding myself.
Even though hiding my pain can be a negative trait,
It is my own way of being sad,
It helps me focus on the root of the problem.
It helps me solve it,
Like a puzzle.
This year has been hard,
Even still,
I am thankful.
It has given me a pause.
In my every day hustle and bustle of going places every day.
It has given myself a chance,
To find myself,
Know my worth.
Know my beliefs,
My dreams,
My style,
And that I am,
Tough in the face of injustice,
And unafraid to be me.
All of me,
The positive and the negative,
Souls that immerge,
And converge,
…As I Grow...