Scenery of Sadness

it was dark in the car, the others

looking forward,

talking muted, the

music a background humming of

life existing without me

but I was apart and not apart,

connected

somehow

to the faded, heavy darkness

and the lights that blurred away

into sparkles on the dashboard

and I found myself looking out the

rearview window

body twisted softly,

head turned and tilted,

resting on the headrest

as the trees fell away behind me

behind us

and I could feel the tug of everything

always falling away,

always gliding back into the nothing,

and I knew I was

nowhere, and

everywhere.