The Architects Chapter Three: Blood Slushies

“Mr. Kerpetski,” Alexei says. “Would you like a slushi?”

“A... slushi? You have slushies?”

“A workplace without slushies is hardly a workplace,” says Alexei.

“Um... wow. Don’t remember that at all.”

“Slushies are like... like mortal coffee, since you seem to remember so much about the fake world. They give out energy.”

“What flavor?”

“Well, we have orange, blue raspberry, and the blood of our enemies.”

“Blood slushies. I gotta try that.”

“Oh, it’s not real blood. It used to be, but management called it quits after the Vampire Strike of 2005.”

“The Vampire Strike of 2005?”

“Twilight, man. That book started riots around here. People got angry that drinking blood has been glorified, so they went on strike until we got rid of the blood slushi flavor. Now it’s just plain cherry.”

“What... which one is my favorite?”

“Oh, you’re a traditionalist. You always drink cherry. Even though it’s not as good as blood.”

“If you can travel back in time, why not travel back to the blood slushi days?”

“The workplace goes in a straight line. All around us, the world loops and spins, and we can visit any time or place, but within the building, we cannot be anywhere but the present. So... I’m sorry to say that you won’t be getting any blood slushies.”

“Pity. Cherry it is, then.”

“Two cherries, Lazarus,” Alexei says.

“No prob, boss.”

I try not to stare, I really do.

But the guy has six arms. SIX. FREAKING. ARMS.

What is this place?

Did Amanda sneak shrooms into my OJ this morning? This can’t be real. It’s just a bad trip. A very, very, very bad trip.

But even as I think it, I don’t believe myself. I don’t know how, but this is real. The six armed guy, the Architects, my girl being possessed, the blood slushies. All of this is real.

I really have to get out of here.

I’m vice president of Freak Central. Even without my memories, Alexei will expect me to duplicate Kerpetski’s skill.

And if I can’t... GAME OVER.

But I don’t even know what I’m doing. Playing with legos is WAY different from rebuilding the goddamn world.

2020 has been one hell of a year. And now this?

A bunch of time traveling gods? Way above my pay grade.

But I love Amanda. I have to get her back. I have to get myself back.

And maybe along the way, I can find this Mr. Kerpetski guy and fix that, too.

“Alright, Mr. Kerpetski. Welcome to the office.”

I stare at the blank steel wall.

“Uh...”

“Let’s get to work.”