ending without goodbyes

you're not good at goodbyes, you say

they make you sad,

because you hate to see something end.

but not everything culminates with a final goodbye.

some are just a final conversation,

a moment of passing in the hallway,

and then you never pass by them again.

today, i'm scrolling through meaningless conversations,

the ones you didn't know would be the last,

the times you didn't say goodbye, but it did end.

the missed friendships,

the possibilities, slipped away forever.

it's so simple --

one text, one message, and perhaps it could come back.

maybe it's saveable.

but you don't know,

because too much time has passed,

and you don't know who they are anymore,

or if they'll like who you are now;

and that ending was so unremarkable.

as if it never meant anything --

but, surely, it did

you weren't best friends,

they didn't shape your life,

but by god, it did mean something. it must have meant something.

it always means something;

everything always means something.

because you met them,

because you sent those last "hey"s and "hello"s and "how are you"s,

before finally it was over.

with one last inconspicuous conversation, one last attempt,

a bit weak, a bit short,

but an attempt.

not everything in life can last,

not every person can stay forever.

but you can't help but wish, right?

because what if one day, you're standing in a coffee shop,

and you meet eyes with someone across the room;

or you're running late at your university,

and you bump into someone on your way;

or you get a new job,

you move to a new state,

you're waiting in the airport,

you attend a friend's wedding;

and somewhere, somehow, you see a familiar face.

and you think --

"i knew you once."

can i ever know you again?