The double Friedrich-rainbow

“Non te conturbent”, is Latin for ‘do not be scared’. Those were the words I woke up to, in the middle of that cold November night. I had just finished watching a particularly frightening episode of a popular series on Netflix and I confess I am not good at processing horror. The weird blue light coming through the only window in my bedroom did not help either. Determined to control my thumping heart that momentarily threatened to send my freak-o-meter into overdrive, I took a deep breath. “There is no lady with a broken neck”, I murmured reminiscing a scene from the series, as I turned to my right, facing away from the lit window.

That’s when I noticed a depression on my mattress at the far right, as if someone’s weight was pressing down on it. “Ah it must be the springs!”, I said aloud partially hoping that my voice will scare the springs back to life. As I stretched my left hand to rub the top of the sunken side of the bed covered with bright accents from my designer blanket, I immediately withdrew. I could see the silhouette of his body, appearing to get more visible with every passing second. He had a dark colored coat on and as he turned towards me, I noticed the enormous mustache that adorned his face. He had sharp features and a receding hairline. His face looked intense, as if he had something very important to say. A strange calm flowing through my body, I slowly sat up.

“Do not be scared to tell the world your deepest darkest secret”, said the shadowy figure in a language that sounded like Greek or Latin to me. Somehow his words made sense, rather magically, as if the sound waves were translated into English, in thin air.

“What? Are you talking to me? Who are you?”, I asked.

“I am Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, the coward philosopher who failed his love”, said the apparition.

“What? You were on the notice board in my history classroom. Aren’t you dead?”, I asked stupidly.

“I know you don’t believe in God, Sam but Ubermensch my friend! You have power over yourself and your actions. How long will you be silent?”, asked the almost invisible intruder.

“Friedrich, you never believed in Christ, did you? My family does and I am afraid of the consequences revealing my secret will have on them.”, I replied looking away momentarily.

“I repent for a few things. The last ten years of my life were spent in confinement within four walls, before I passed into this parallel universe. Unfinished business does no one good”, said the ghost of Friedrich with his head hanging low.

I wondered how he knew about my closely guarded secret. However I could never bring myself to ask that question. It was left hanging somewhere between my throat and lips.

“What do you repent for? Were you like me?”, I asked assuming he knew my secret.

“I was Sam, and I kept it away from everyone including the one I loved. Happiness is a consequence of the effort you put in to overcome life’s hurdles to fulfill your will. Lack of which can drive anyone crazy, as it did me”, said the almost invisible man who was now uttering words that pierced my heart’s strings.

“I…errr…. I ….”, I failed to utter anything coherent.

“Say it to the world Sam… say it to relieve your heart.. cross that hurdle.. JUST SAY IT!”, he screamed.

“I AM GAY!”, I shouted. I woke up to see my roommate Roland staring down my face.

Apparently I scared the wits out of him.

“Are you alright? What did you say?”, asked Roland.

I cried and nodded my head in agreement trying to wrap around the fact that my biggest secret has escaped my lips. Roland took a few steps back and looked like he was still processing what he heard. Till now, I was perceived as an uptight gentleman who somehow magically got around girls. In fact, I was a confidante to every good looking girl in college and the boys never understood how I did it.

The adrenaline rush jolted me awake. The right corner of my mattress indeed looked like someone had sat there too long. The translated work of Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche lay on the side table next to my bed along with my glasses perched awkwardly on it. So it was a dream inside a dream, like a double rainbow; rare, like Friedrich himself.