Christmas Sabotage

“What kind of boss works only one day a year and expects to get all of the credit for it?” I exclaimed incredulously as I pulled the sugar cookies out of the oven.

“Well dear, he is Santa,” Mary said awkwardly, shifting in her seat, “what colors should we use to ice the cookies?”

Even the sweet smell of the treats couldn’t distract me from my anger. I knew Mary had a point, but I had reached a breaking point. I had been switched departments for the 5th year in a row. First, Doll Manufacturing. Then, the Wrapping Department, which was probably my least favorite. But, that was where I met Mary, so it turned out to be not too bad. After that I got switched to Quality Control-- pretty mundane stuff at The Workshop since all of the other Elves didn’t really make a lot of mistakes. Last year, I finally started to see a glimmer of hope when I was put into remote control toys, but alas... I got moved again.

“I just can’t take it any more sugarplum,” I said, exasperated, pulling out the red and green buttercream icing from the icing drawar next to the oven.

“You just need to have more holiday cheer!” she smiled sweetly up at me as she began to move the cookies to the sparkling cooling tray.

“And that’s another thing, everyone keeps telling me to be more jolly or to embrace the holiday spirit, but that doesn’t...”

The doorbell rang the first few notes of a high pitched Frosty The Snowman. Oh great, just what we needed, a guest. Whoever was at the door was getting impatient and rang the bell a few more times, setting off our Rube Goldberg doorbell.

A train started chugging around the top of our kitchen, cranking our jack-in-the-box as it went. Jingle Bells rang throughout the house and finally the box popped open, pushing the button to the snow machine, which began to spurt snow from our roof into our kitchen.

“Ohhh I love it when it does that!” Mary exclaimed.

“Well are you gonna get the door?” I said, annoyed.

She opened the door and suddenly Fredrick, Santa's personal assisant, walked in.

"Mary! So good to see you!" he smiled warmly, his wide mouth reaching his pointed ears.

"Yes, good to see you too! Come in, come in," Mary insisted.

"Well hello there Bobby, just the elf I wanted to see." he slapped me on my back as he walked through our door.

"Now this is something," he said as he moved toward our kitchen, now covered in snow.

"We were just making some sugar cookies if you would like to stay," Mary offered.

"Thank you, Mary, but I can't stay," he then turned abruptly toward me, "let's just get right to tying the bow on this visit," he winked at Mary.

She giggled softly, "of course, what can we do for you?"

"Well... It's more about Bobby here," he glanced down at his clipboard, "you've been transfered to the South Pole," he shot an overexaggerated frown in my direction.

"The South Pole?? That can't be right! I-- I have been working so hard!" I was getting angry now.

"Yes! Exactly! That's just the reason you are being transfered... uhh... again. We need hard-workers like you down there to make sure things run smoothly. Besides, you are Ah-May-Zing at entering new departments and... uh... motivating your team. Oh, Bobby, it'll be a blast! It'll be just the thing to renew your holiday spirit," he was talking so fast and I was starting to feel nauseous.

"I don't understand, I didn't ask for a transfer... How can I leave Mary?" I sat down in the nearest chair.

"Well, the thing is... the big man figured that your relationship with him has gotten a little rough... and that you might need, say, a vacation away from each other."

"What? Why does he get to call the shots anyway? He sits around eating cookies and drinking milk for 364 days a year and then just expects us to do everything for him? I mean I have been transfered 5... well... 6 times now! He obviously doesn't care about our happiness. Why should I even work here anymore?!" my anger was bubbling up.

"Exactly, Bobby, exactly!" Fredrick said, nodding, "that is why you are being sent to the South Pole, where you'll be under new management."

"I am not going to leave! I-," I started.

"Well, must be going," Fredrick interrupted me, "lots to do! Just stop by ER for more details!"

"I don't want to stop by Elf Resources! I want to speak to Santa!" I screamed.

"Sorry, there's only so much I can do! Goodbye Mary, hope to see you around." He gave Mary a wink and stepped out the door.

This was it... This was the last straw. I was going to sabotage Christmas and no one, not even Fredrick, was going to stop me.