When It’s Time, It’s Time

Delores:

Delores was tired. She had been tired for a long time now. Her 86 years on Earth had been a mixture of happiness, grief, and confusion, and looking back on it now, she loved every moment of it. She knew what was coming, she could feel it in the air these past few weeks. For a long time, death had loomed over her head. She was afraid of it, afraid of what could come after. She was partly religious but more spiritual than anything else. Still, in a secular world, she felt crazy sometimes for believing that there was something on the other side. She questioned herself on more than one occasion and had cried multiple times because she could not fathom life off this earth. Now, she felt silly, so silly for overthinking it all. Her time was coming and she had made peace with it. There was no more pressure to live. She had done all that already. She had learned, loved, and lived to the best of her ability. She had climbed mountains, raised three children, and danced her heart out. Her husband was gone now and her family far away, but she felt okay. Now, laying in bed in a quiet room, she didn’t feel so alone. She couldn’t quite describe it, but she no longer felt herself. It was as if the spirit inside her was ready to join the rest of the universe. After spending some time looking at photos and reliving the past 86 years, she closed her eyes for the last time. It was time to let go.

Johan:

Johan was afraid, he was afraid of dying. Ever since his diagnosis he had spent too much time in the hospital. He heard codes called over the speakers and knew the result when the nurses walked in with blank expressions. He was 43 now, and after 2 years in and out of the hospital, he knew he didn’t have much time left. The end was coming, but he wasn’t as scared as he expected to be. He asked to go home earlier this week, much to his doctor’s dismay. Dr.Fredricks was young and ambitious, he did not like failure. Sadly, that was exactly what Johan was, another life that could not be saved. Cancer was like that sometimes, it bested even the most strong-willed opponents. The air was heavy at home these past few days. His wife had cried enough for the both of them and his kids seemed to know that their time with their dad was limited. Why else would they spend so much time with him as opposed to their phones and videogames? In all honesty, he appreciated their company, because despite knowing what was coming he didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to make peace with it all, but he was still afraid. After spending so much time undergoing chemo and surgery, he was sure he could handle any pain that death brought. The fear was no longer in the process itself, but what would come after. He wasn’t religious, he never had been. He didn’t know what to expect on the other side. His biggest fear was that it would be darkness, an endless oblivion. He wanted there to be something, yet he didn’t know what. As the weeks went on, he felt himself fading further from reality. It was getting close now. He expected it to happen at night, in the darkness, but it was midday. His wife was at work and his children at school. He wanted to make it to the bed but didn’t seem to have the energy. He rested his head on the couch and knew that it was time to let go. It was time and he wasn't afraid anymore.

Kelly:

Kelly was confused. She didn’t quite know what was happening. The last thing she remembered was fighting with her boyfriend in the car. She was so angry and then all of a sudden she wasn’t in control anymore. She opened her eyes to find two women looking frantic. She heard various words of assurance, but couldn’t quite piece the sentences together. She was 23, far too young for this. She wondered where Kyle was. Did he make it out of the car? She couldn't even remember why she was angry with him. She couldn’t remember anything from the incident. She tried to get up, but her body disobeyed her. She wasn’t in pain, though she suspected that it was the shock of it all. She watched as doctors filled the room, they looked terrified and she couldn’t imagine why. What was happening? Her mind couldn’t piece everything together fast enough, yet she felt okay. She wanted to reach out to her doctors and tell them the same thing. She didn’t quite know what was going on, but she knew it was her time. It was time to leave, time to let go. It was sudden and chaotic, but she felt okay. She hadn't lived long, but she wasn’t afraid of leaving so soon. She was more worried for those she’d leave behind. As the frantic voices around her faded away, she was able to find peace. It was warm and loving and she knew that everything would make sense soon enough.

Reader:

No matter who we are, death takes us eventually. We might be ready for it, or we may not be. No one knows what’s on the other side, but I hope that none of you feel afraid as we go. Whether we are young or old, we all must go some time. It can sometimes be a long process or come as a surprise. I trust that you all find peace in the process and live your precious time on earth to the fullest. My fellow humans, I love every one of you. Do not fear the end, for the present is what matters the most right now.

-Vee