chapter five

“I did the right thing, saving the kid. But father pledges otherwise. Of course, he can’t kill him now, with the eyes of everyone in the council turned to our mercy. But he would if he could, Logan. I don’t want to believe it but it’s the truth.”

Underneath the full moon, talking about my fears is easy. I can pretend no one’s listening, the words are swept away with the warm air, their weight leaving me. But Logan is listening. My voice drones off, expressing my fears, shedding the skin I’ve been forced to wear. “I’m afraid of seeing things for how they really are instead of what they make me believe.”

He plays with my hand, twirling my fingers with his own, touch careful as a feather. I can feel his chest heaving against my back as he sighs, his chin moving slightly above my head. “You will have to do it sooner or later, Alex. Not now, perhaps, but when you’re queen. And maybe, the sooner you do it, the sooner you open your eyes, the better it’ll be.”

I understand his words, but he doesn’t understand me. “He was my dad first,” I whisper, closing my eyes. The memories, as well as the anger, are sharp, they sting, wounds refusing to heal. “He was a father, and the crown took all away and replaced him with a king I don’t know. A king, a man, I fear.”

I can’t help but sound like a child. I feel like everything I ever had, all the things I thought I knew are being taken away from me, and there’s nothing I can do to slow things down. Dad was taken away from me, and part of me fears Lucas is next. Rage and disgust fill up my veins, recalling how father looked on at the murders in front of his eyes. The murders he orchestrated. He never even flinched. The council has taken too many things from me, and they will continue to. I know it. I know I won’t be able to stop them from it.

His arms wrap tighter around me as if he can stop the pain growing inside me from settling in. “He’s a king, Alex. And even if you see it that way, he’s doing it all to keep your family safe. You, especially. He might be the king, but you’re blind if you think that kind of love can be buried by power.” His voice carries with the wind, slow and steady. I close my eyes, praying for his words to become true. “What will happen to the kid?”

“Dylan.” I recall his name and blue eyes. Clammy hands and fragile body. “He will be put into an orphan house of the state. Watched until he grows old enough to get a job. His parents died in the attack.”

Sorrow is weird. It can make you feel things, remember things you’d rather not. Sorrow settles in my stomach for an unknown reason. I don’t know the kid or his parents, but my heart can’t help but ache at the thought of him growing up alone. His parents died for a cause they believed in, for a better world for their child. This isn’t the only case. I know there are millions of families ending up dead, leaving their children behind. Or the children are lost to a senseless war. He escaped a horrible fate just to stumble on another.

It takes Logan a while to speak, caressing my arm with his calloused fingers. “But you couldn’t let him die.”

“No,” I mutter.

His chin drops, landing on my shoulder. “There’s pureness in you. That’s why I love you.”

His words warm my insides, shield me from my worst fears. Sometimes, they keep me awake at night. The things he sees in me, the hope his eyes betray. Everything I want to be is mirrored in his gray eyes. Every hope, opportunity, wish. He sees the monarch I want to be, not the princess I am.

But how long will this pureness last in the hands of the council?

Hearing those words in stolen moments like these make all the gazes and scolding, frustration and disappointment, worth it. Because he understands me. With him I feel like I’m not alone, the weight of power won’t crush me under as long as he remains here. Solitude would leach the life from me.

I grip his hand tight enough just at the thought. “Did you hear the news?” I ask as he kisses my cheek, both hands holding mine.

His small smile breaks again, replaced with a scowl. “More measures.”

After the council meeting, dad went to the main plaza, giving a speech all by himself.

After my little tantrum in the throne room, he couldn’t trust my presence and behavior anymore. No one can blame him.

Lennon placed a curfew on all the commoners. Be home by nine in the evening or else. I hope no one dares to stay out past the time to see what happens. Limited food rations. Instead of the weekly corn, wheat, meat, and beans dispatched by the government, they will receive them twice a month now. I can only imagine the hunger the people will go through. The starvation taken to another level. I hate he has the power, and I hate I don’t. As if those things weren’tenough, he implemented the law tithe, meaning any family with more than three members will have to give up one to lend to our country in times of war. These people will become soldiers, see if they survive the war against the brides. Forcing them to fight against their own people and ideals. Little to no training, deserted, unaided.

A death sentence.

I loll my head, allowing his chin to rest on my neck. “They begin next week,” I mumble.

“They aren’t your fault.” I’ve been repeating those words to myself since I heard, but there’s no way to make me believe them.

Because even if they aren’t, my little act of defiance sparked up the fire, throwing fuel at it. I’m not entirely innocent.

“You know what’s funny?” I ask, pulling away from him. My dress shifts as I move across the damp grass, so we sit face to face, knees touching. “I overheard dad a couple of months ago. And whatever the woman said hasn’t come true.”

He raises his eyebrows, amused. “What woman?”

I stifle a giggle, rolling my eyes. “A few months ago, I went with father to this conference just outside the city. The house we stayed in was beautiful and spacious. I was curious, so I started to wander around the house. Beautiful paintings and chandeliers, but not like here, not tacky. It felt peaceful, hard-earned. I was wandering around when I heard dad and a woman talking on a studio. I thought it was mom, and I stayed to listen. They never tell me anything, so I paid attention.” I pause, recalling the moment, playing it back in my head. “It wasn’t mom, it was a seer.”

“A seer?” Logan asks, gray eyes twinkling with curiosity. Seers are not unknown in Alemiss, but they’re not often spoken about either.

I nod. “She read his cards. Power, wealth, all the common charade to take your money. Until they got to the last card.” My voice drops, allowing the moment of excitement to linger. Logan looks like a boy on Christmas night, eyes wide and a small grin plastered across his features. I can almost hear the question in his eyes. What did she say? “She said there was something he wouldn’t be able to stop. A relinquish of power. Dad asked to know more, but the woman didn’t say anything else. ‘I only get what the cards tell me, Your Majesty,’ she said.”

His smile drops, shrugging. “What does it even mean? Do you believe it?”

Do I? Whatever she saw hasn’t come to be. For all I know, I hope she was wrong. I refuse to dissect her words. I have better things to worry about. Dylan, Logan, Lucas, the decrees. My dreaded apology to father.

“Well, not now. It hasn’t happened, obviously. I think she was a scam,” I admit, bowing my head as my chest deflates. A good scam to serve as a small distraction, but a ruse still.

He chuckles lowly, caressing my knee. “So why’d you bring that up?”

“To see you smile,” I reply, my cheeks blazing.

“I am happy,” he says in return, long lashes against pale skin. “But you’re not. And I’m here to listen. You need to let everything out. Otherwise, it might kill you alive.”

If he only knew.

“I am happy, too. Right now, anyway. With you here.” I mean it. Being with him is the only time when I get to be myself, explain how I feel without being chided or ignored.

“But I will be a queen, and once it happens there’s nothing I can do but keep these memories close to me...” I trail off, my throat closing. The thought is enough to stir panic inside me. I will it away, focusing on my breathing.

“True,” he agrees, eyes flickering to the moon above us and back to me. “But for now, you’re just a princess, not a queen. And princesses can only do so much.”

I scoff, feeling the familiar pressure of the topic take hold of me. “Not even kings seem to have much power against the council.” He knows what I’m talking about. I filled him in on the weird talk with mother. What I felt. What I know. Father is under the council’s finger. He can’t do anything unless his threads are pulled by the members, and he signed something he didn’t want. It’s true, the measures are his fault, but he can’t resist the council if I’m right.

If they really did kill Rodrick.

His brow furrows in concentration. “The council isn’t your issue, Alexandra.”

“It will be soon enough, Logan. And I can’t do anything about it. They’re turning my dad from this well-known king to this mean, merciless man. It will happen to me too if I don’t do anything to stop it.” My voice grows dark, strained. I hate feeling useless, with no one to turn to. I doubt Lucas knows how deep the council’s roots go and once Greece comes back, I doubt I’ll be able to talk to her about it. There are things you can’t share; burdens you can’t surrender. The court is alive thanks to secrecy and discreet lies.

His voice rumbles off his chest, passion making his words thick with feeling. “If what you say about the council is true, I’d rather keep you alive. I couldn’t care less about the decrees.”

I blink. “Logan!”

We settle in easy silence. Drop the decree or remain alive. Is there even much choice at all?”

“I have to do something,” I mumble.

For me, for him, for everyone else.

He nods, tipping his head to the sky. “Not now, but when you’re

queen...”

“When I’m queen...” I prompt. I know he wants to say more.

A look I know all too well crosses his features and I do everything I can not to wince. “When you are queen and you... marry... maybe your husband will be able to help you against the council. Not now, but in a few years.” He ends his words with a sigh, the thought burning him as much as it burns me.

Just like that, another ghost I’ve been running away from crosses my path again. Something I’d rather not think about, but I know I’ll have to sooner or later. This is a part of me I don’t want to let go, in fear of sinking into whatever sea this kingdom is.

“Don’t say it,” I tell him, but it comes out shaky while I choke on unshed tears. “I won’t marry.” Even if I will it to be true, I know it isn’t. Even now, father already has the wheels spinning, finding a suitor to carry the crown with me in a few years. There’s nothing I can do to stop it.

He smiles softly, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He knows I’m not being honest. “You will. You have to. If you want to keep your family safe, you must. You’ve always wanted to have children, too.”

I love children. I can’t wait to be a mother someday. To see if they’re born with my blue eyes or my black hair. I wish I could marry him, have children of our own. Little Logans running around the hallways barefoot. And I know it’s a farfetched dream, but it doesn’t make my heart stop wishing it could come true. I would hate the crown if I could. If I could muster sufficient anger. Right now, it is not the time. Right now, there’s only time for Logan, to hold onto him hoping the waves won’t swallow me whole.

“I love you, Logan.”

His eyes snap to mine, steady and glowing in the stars’ light. “And I love you right back,” he tells me. With a grunt he stands up, extending his hand to mine. “Better make the best of the time we have, right?”

I swallow the knot in my throat, blinking away the tears. “Yes,” I whisper as his hand pulls me up. “We better.”

Never letting go he twirls me around, my dress floating behind me as my hair is caressed by the wind. “What are you doing?” I giggle once the world stops spinning around me.

He looks at me, mocking a gasp. My thumbs trail his jaw. “Excuse me? We’re dancing.”

“There’s no music,” I point out, smiling as he draws me close, his arm snaking around my waist.

He has the nerve to wink. “Leave that up to me.”

“Wha—” I’m interrupted as soon as he starts humming under his breath. I stop breathing, my arms locked behind his neck. The hums are slow, a song I know. A song he wrote for me. On the piano. A song with senseless promises and childish dreams. “You’re so cheesy, Saudade.”

“And in the light of the moon, I’d still pledge myself to you...” He twirls us around and around, his hands never leaving my waist while I move one hand from his neck to his chest, laying it just above his heart. Mine’s frantic, almost to the point where I’m sure he’s able to hear every heartbeat of mine. I can feel his steady heartbeat flutter beneath my palm. His breath fans across my lips, a delicious luxury I can only afford some nights.

“’Cause even if this castle fell, I’d still come back to you.”

All too soon the song is over, leaving him in silence as he twirls me around, my back to his chest. “I’ll always be here for you, Alex.” I shiver in his closeness, wrapping my hands around his in my stomach.

“I couldn’t be luckier.”

It’s the truth. I can’t imagine spending one second without the knowledge that he’s within reach. When things are going bad, he’s always there watching over me. I’ll keep it that way, no matter how much it takes. I pull away softly, sliding under his arm. “What now?”

“Do you want to go back to your room?” he asks, a somber expression crossing his features as he scowls.

I don’t want this night to be over. I can’t let him go. I’m not ready to slip back into the role of an obedient princess staring by the sidelines.

“No,” I say.

He has the nerve to roll his eyes. “Fine.” And then, after a pause, he touches my shoulder with his index finger, eyes shiny. “Tag, you’re it.” Off he goes, running away from me like a child.

“Logan!” I scream in a whisper, rolling my eyes. Of course he’d do that. I take my time slipping off my heels, my feet touching the damp grass. And just like when we were kids, I trail behind him.

On the run, I forget about everything else but my one objective: catching him. I undo my ponytail, my hair flying in the wind behind me as I go around the bushes and trees I know like the back of my hand. I chase his shadow and the soft noise his shoes make against the stones in our path.

But like always, I have to be smarter. I slow down, willing my senses to heighten, listening. I stop breathing for the second time that night, blood rushing to my ears as he stops too, somewhere to my left. Wincing at the thought of making noise and glad I took off my shoes before I chased after him, I kneel behind a tree, crawling to the small clearing.

A fountain in the middle, him on the edge, kneeling, tightening the laces on his polished shoes. I inch closer, taking a low breath before I sprint as fast as my legs can take me, closing the few feet between us in three long jumps until I land on his back.

“Got you!” I shout at him as he stands up with me on his shoulders, never losing balance. He grunts, gripping my calves.

Realization dawns on me with an exquisite, if angry, thrill. “Hey! No. Logan, don’t you dare. Let. Me. Down,” I command, pushing his shoulder. I know where this is going, and I don’t like it, but he doesn’t buckle.

It seems like I’m not persuasive enough because, without a second thought, he throws me to the fountain, cold water surrounding me and pushing any oxygen out of my lungs.

He stands at the edge when I come up for air, hands on his hips, a playful smirk on his lips.

“That’s cheating,” I whine, wiping the water from my face.

He merely shrugs. “You also cheated,” he reminds me, careful enough not to step too close to me.

“It was your idea to play.”

He blinks. “And it was your idea to haul yourself to me. I did what I did in self-defense.” I bite my lip to stop a smirk from spreading on my lips.

“Logan,” I sing, drawing circles on the water around me.

His eyes darken in the moonlight. “Yes?”

I know my lie won’t be swallowed, but I still try. “I don’t mean to scare you, but there’s a big, fat, malicious rat right behind you. It’s a big one.”

“You’re lying.”

I shrug, keeping my face neutral, stilling my body. “Believe what you want.”

His body stops moving, processing.

In a flash, he jumps the rim of the fountain, a splash soaking me again as he goes underneath, my giggles the only thing I hear for a few seconds. I feel a light pressure on my ankles as he slides his hands over my legs, making me shiver. Head bobbing in the water, he smiles at me.

“There was no rat,” I confess, inching closer to him. He spares me a smirk. “I just wanted you here with me.”

He nods shakily, hair covering his eyes. He takes my hand underwater and blinks away the water pooling in his thick lashes. “I would’ve jumped if you asked me to.”

I wiggle my eyebrow, kissing his cheek. “But where’s the fun in that?”

The fountain is about six feet deep. I float, the water reaching my chest. Logan is standing in the cement below, the water gracing his chin.

“I didn’t bring a change,” I say, feeling the weight of my soaked dress threatening to pull me under.

“Good thing. You can get naked with an excuse now.”

I move my hand, splashing his face. “Logan!”

That only makes him laugh harder, his laugh echoing across the fountain. Flicking his hand, a wave of water hits my face. If there are guards nearby, they don’t care or aren’t listening. Everything is safe and serene. If the water were still, we could pretend we’re the only two people in the phase of the earth.

He tips his head, eyeing me. “You look cute when you blush.”

I roll my eyes as I allow him to pull me closer, my legs wrapping around his waist. “You look cute when you blush,” I mock, dropping my voice to sound like him.

“I know you’re a queen, and you get everything,” he begins, “but I don’t have that luxury and I’ve been dying for a kiss since the last time we kissed.”

I raise my hand, ruffling his black hair sticking to his forehead. “You could just ask.”

With his strong jaw, pointy nose, wide, gray eyes, and bushy eyebrows, he looks every bit royal as I do. There’s something regal about his features not even father shares. Beauty I can’t describe.

“May I?” he asks as he cups my head, tilting his. I close my eyes in agreement.

My reaction to his touch is spontaneous, a reflex. I pull him close, feeling my heartbeat dropping before resuming its frenzy, my hands shaking at the nape of his neck in an impulse of adrenaline. His hands fall from my face to my waist, reducing the space between us. Breathing becomes unimportant when I have him this close.

His lips are careful and gracious, molding to my own. My body responds accordingly, turning to silk under his hands. Everything stops and becomes an echo. Nothing can go wrong as long as he keeps his arms around me.

Too soon for my liking, he pushes my face away softly, his hand remaining on my cheek, thumb caressing my jaw. “Not here,” he murmurs. His voice wavers, hoarse. “If you keep this on, I won’t be able to stop, princess.”

I release my grip from his neck to press my hands against his shoulders, untangling my legs from his waist. “I share the sentiment,” I whisper as I push my wet hair back and pry away the soaked silk clinging to my figure. I don’t miss his eyes traveling from my stomach to my chest, stopping at my eyes. I raise my eyebrows. “Something you like?”

With a crooked grin and a slight blush tinting his ears, he nods. “A lot of things, actually.”

“You’re dumb-folded,” I chide as I push my way to the edge of the fountain. Drawing my knees up once I sit on the marble to stop myself from shivering in the cold wind, I watch as he makes his way to the edge of the fountain.

He shrugs, pushing his way through the water, leaning against the fountain’s brim. He places his arms on the edge, looking up at me. “I just kissed the future queen,” he muses.

“What an accomplishment,” I scoff.

He nods, gray eyes trailing the stars twinkling above us. “Lucas is getting married, huh?”

I am taken aback by the sudden change of topic. Worry and guilt settle in me immediately after. Since the day Lennon announced my brother’s marriage, I hadn’t thought of it. Or paid attention. Not when all I could think about is how our country is at the brink of destruction and we’ll fall down the abyss with it.

My voice wavers for once. “I guess... I don’t know much.”

“Is your wedding planned out already, too?”

I swallow. I have no idea. I’d be foolish if I thought it wasn’t.

Mother must be planning on the proper way to break down the news to me this very second. “Maybe.” Not a lie, but not the truth, either. I don’t want to think about it.

His eyes leave the stars, staring up at me. They make my skin burn hot under his inspection. “When you know, you’ll tell me?”

“Yes.” It’s a reflex, something I don’t have to think about. I close my eyes for a moment, trailing my fingers on the water. Ten minutes ago, I told him I wouldn’t marry. He’s smart. He knows it’s nothing. Words mean nothing with royals and monarchs. Our lives aren’t our own, and there’s little we can do to control our choices or the ones that are taken by other people, for the matter. He knows this. “Will you?”

I see his jaw working, pale eyes avoiding mine. “If I ever do, I will.”

I could dwell on it. On the thought Logan will have someone in the future who can give him everything I can’t. He won’t have the daily pressure of the court, or the threats hanging over our heads since the moment we’re born. His children won’t be caught up in the middle. He’ll be happy, grow old with the woman he loves, while I rot away in a throne I never wanted.

But I won’t do that. For now, he’s chosen me. And it’s enough. I need it to be.

“I don’t know who Lucas’ betrothed is. He must, though. He’s close to father.” I try to not let the pain of my early thoughts bleed through, smiling faintly. “He didn’t tell me. I found out through father.”

“Have you given him the chance to tell you? Have you seen him since then?” I shake my head. Not really. He’s been gone more and more this past week, busy with Odin’s arrival.

I bow my head. Glares can betray more than words do. “It doesn’t make the blow hurt less.”

“Don’t be silly, Alex,” he says. “Lucas loves you. If you asked him, he’d tell you. I’m sure the opportunity hasn’t shown up yet. With the issues your father is facing, it’s no wonder he needs Lucas closer.”

“Hardly,” I snap, shifting so my legs are next to him, leaning a hand on his head, prying away the hair plastered to his forehead. It gives me something to do. “The council is enough. Lucas is just a decoration. The council makes every choice for father.”

“I meant what I said before, you know?” he asks after he heaves a sigh.

I stop the motion, dropping my hands to the water. “Which part?”

“If what you said is true, if the time comes...” His gaze wavers as he lowers his hand to find mine in the water. “If you get the chance to drop the decrees, I’d rather you not.”

As if his confession shocks me, I pull my hand away, locking gazes with him. “Why?” I keep the anger and hurt from bleeding in my voice, but I know my eyes give me away.

He doesn’t hesitate. “I’d rather keep you alive than the decrees being dropped. Promise me, Alexandra.”

I’m not dumb. Full names carry a full meaning, a different implication. And being a princess, a soon-to-be monarch, I can’t make promises I can’t keep. Not to him. “I can’t promise that.”

He sighs, turning around to push himself off the water, sitting next to me. Some of the water clung to him splashes me. I slide a hand across my arm, focusing on his voice.

“You’d do it, then? If the choice was your life or that decree, you’d choose the decree?”

I nod. “Millions are dying. I’m not more important than they are,” I whisper.

“Certainly not,” he says. “But more foolish.”

I can only chuckle. “You wouldn’t do the same choice? If you had a sister, a daughter?”

He can’t bear to look me in the eyes, staring at his hands instead. “If I had a sister or a daughter and the decree could end my life, I wouldn’t do it. They wouldn’t want me to. And if I did it, it’d be selfish.” The jab reaches its aim.

I understand the double meaning behind his words meant to pierce through me. The words soak me through, cold water hitting my face again.

“I’m not doing this for my own reasons, Logan.” I understand what he means, but it doesn’t mean he’s right. “If it were up to me, the decrees wouldn’t have been established in the first place.”

“They aren’t your fault. The people dying, they aren’t dying because of you.”

I blink. I’m not even sure the words left his lips. “Sure, Logan. Not right now. They’re dying because of father. Because of us. And the blood is already on my hands. I was there this morning when the rebels were killed in the council meeting.” I close my eyes, letting the moment wash over me again. I shiver, but it has nothing to do with the cold I feel outside. “They are my fault if I don’t do anything to stop them.”

“Do I really have to say the words for you to understand, Alex?” His eyes burn into mine as he takes a hand from my lap, enveloping it in both of his. “I don’t want you to die.”

As much as I hate it, my voice softens, relenting. “I won’t.”

We don’t speak after that for a couple of minutes. I understand the implication behind those words, but there’s nothing I can do to grant his wish. Even if I don’t die or put myself in the line of fire in a doomed battlefield against the council, the war can threaten to hurt me. The mere crown could be my downfall. When you’re born a royal, no matter how many guards or walls stand around you, you’re never safe, always running, dodging risks. He knows this. I know it, too. I can’t pretend my life hasn’t been on the edge of a bloody knife since I was born.

I break the fragile silence first. I need to get this out of my chest. The silence begs to encase me in a prison. I can’t think about my life being threatened when I have issues more important at hand.

“I saved the boy because he looked so young, innocent. I did it for him. And for myself. To prove myself I can do something to change, to right the wrongs Rodrick began, and dad continues to commit. I want to believe I’m good.” I heave a shuddering breath.

“When the time comes, I’ll be able to improve Alemiss. I want to believe it more than anything. I tell myself this isn’t my fault. Their deaths aren’t mine to worry over. But they are.”

He doesn’t speak, letting me rain over like a storm. If I kept this inside me any longer, I’d drown with the words in the depth of the fountain. “I did it because the boy looked so much like Lucas. I forget sometimes how young Lucas is, because, like me, his innocence was taken away sooner than others’. Our lives are this way. I saved the boy in a foolish attempt to redeem myself.”

Something in my eyes must give me away because his eyes search for something in my face, flickering. He finds it. “That’s not all,” he says. “You saw that child as your own.”

Is it wrong? Is it crazy I see children worth saving because someday, somewhere, the favor might be returned? That the target I’ll place on my children as soon as they’re born might be forgotten in the way karma goes and comes around? I can only nod.

“Yes.”

“You’re good, Alex.” His hand rests on my knee, squeezing it once. I will the tears away.

“You’re precious.”

“You have to say it. You’re my friend,” I push, swallowing the knot in my throat.

He chuckles, twisting his body so his legs dangle from the opposite side of the fountain, angling to the castle. “I like to believe I’m more than a friend.”

That brings a genuine smile from me, clearing the fog his thoughts birthed in me. “Don’t kiss your own ass,” I tease.

“No matter how hard this life gets, or what side the current sways, never lose your heart, Alexandra. You might be the only hope we have. The only hope I have.”

I commit the words to memory, writing them inside the walls in my brain. Three sentences are enough to soothe the ache placed in my heart since my chat with mother. He doesn’t know this, but in a world of chaos, his words soothe me, heal me, keep me going. I’d drown without him.

“Thank you.” It comes as a hush. I’m not sure I can raise my voice without revealing the pressure in my throat and my eyes prickling.

He nudges me with his shoulder, turning his head to mine, kissing my temple. “It’s late.”

“I know.” But I don’t want to leave.

Close to us, perched on a branch and obscured by the darkness surrounding the fountain, a croak echoes, making me wince. Another follows.

“What the hell is that?” I whisper in the dark, grabbing Logan’s arm.

“Crows,” he says. “Sounds like it. Never heard of them?” He chuckles.

I ignore his jab. “At this time?”

And just like he said, one crow jumps from a naked tree to my left. It angles upward, flying to the sky. It’s barely a darker shadow against the pale light the moon throws at us, illuminating our faces and the fountain.

He dodges my question, a corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk. “You scared?”

I shrug. “It’s only a stupid crow.”

“Good.” He jumps back to the grass in a swift motion, extending his hand to me to pull me from the edge. His white shirt clings to his body, gives me a glimpse at carved muscles and soft skin. I can almost feel it, how his familiar heat rolls off beneath my fingertips when we’re alone. His pants sag, balancing dangerously close to his hips. I lick my lips, forcing myself to lose the train of hormonal thoughts.

“Are you up for a race?”

I touch the floor with my toes, a reassurance. But the floor isn’t the one keeping me grounded. “What does the winner get?”

He has the nerve to wink. “A good night’s kiss.”

We run for a couple of minutes, chasing one another around the fountain, laughing like children. We trail behind the castle, under the trees, and through complicated hallways. But I can’t outrun the ghosts I feel at my back, coming closer with each passing second.

In my heart, I know there’s nothing I can do to change this life. It’s what I’ve been taught and born to do—rule this country someday. But it doesn’t mean I like it. I would trade it in a heartbeat. I feel a tug of jealousy. Logan can run, no care in the world. Could leave the castle and no one but me would chase after him.

I can’t do the same. I’m stuck with the crown I never wanted. I can’t run from this life.

__________

personally, i love love love this chapter. sooo if you've made it this far, you know both logan and odin. which one do you prefer? why? team odalex or lalex? let me know what you think / if you'd like to be tagged. thank you so so much for reading.

profuse greetings,

-goldenmel