What if I tried

What if I tried to tell you farewell

What if I tried to tell you Adios

What if I tried to tell you good-day

What if I tried?

Would you accept my goodbye?

Would you agree we dissolve the past

Would you let your grudges go

I never meant to give you scars

The night we played with those junkyard cars

I really did try to control those fires

What if I tried harder?

What if I fixed those wires

What if I’d tried to find more water

Maybe then you wouldn’t have died

I could’ve tried harder

Maybe you wouldn’t be haunting my daughter

Maybe you wouldn’t be tormenting my dog

Maybe you wouldn’t be causing chaos at home

Maybe things would be different

And I wouldn’t feel bad each time I wake

If I hadn’t told you to come out with me

If I hadn’t decided we leave our phones

If I’d brought water

Or chose somewhere else we go

Maybe things would’ve been different

I wouldn’t have caused a death at 16

Hearing almost nothing as an off duty doctor announces your death

Watched as an ambulance drove you away

As I ran back home crying

I wouldn’t have

Attended a funeral with grieving parents

Crying sisters

And angry uncles

You wouldn’t have had to watch as your parents spoke at your funeral

As your siblings cleared out your bedroom because your parents just couldn’t

Oh, I just can’t even begin to fathom how things could be different

What if I’d tried?

Would you still be creating strange noises throughout my house

Knocking things off my walls

Creating drafts of wind and loud sounds

And making me regret ever going forward

Owen

What if I tried to tell you

I’M SORRY

Would you accept my apology?

No?

Well, it was definitely worth a try