untitled (idk really)

The girl could never explain why she did it right before getting out of the shower.

Sticking her face right below the showerhead so the water would simultaneously force her to shut her eyes and hold her breath for fear of inhaling the water. It was the weird brief moment of being truly able to feel nothing. It was nothing. And then, the crushing moment where she needed to breathe but the surrounding pressures of falling water allowed for no air. It was in those brief moments that she was reminded of her vulnerability. In the harsh cold of the outside world, she was a power to be reckoned with-- or at least she liked to think so. It was easy to play the part, almost like she was an actor in a movie, simply going through the motions. She was perfect.

But, here, in the privacy of her shower, she was reminded of her humanity. How easy it would be to end it all. How easy it would be to break and show who she really was. How one breath of water would cause her to splutter and face the simple truth of mortality.

The water washed away her walls before suddenly shutting off with the quick twist to the right.

And she was left standing, naked and exposed in the remaining steam, for no one but her to see.

And that, that, was damaging enough.