DOUBTS ON MY PILLOW

I lay here and wonder why,

Why can’t I just really try,

Try my best to be glad,

Glad that he’s not always mad,

Mad at me the way he used to,

He’s nicer and sweeter too,

To me he is still neglecting though, and I don’t know what to do….

Do about it because I don’t wanna mess up what is good,

Good but still not quite enough for me,

Me you see, I think that’s the problem I face,

Facing it because it\s all my fault I can’t be happy,

Happy he’s atleast trying,

Trying to do his best,

Best isn’t always good

I lay here and wonder why,

Why can’t I just really try,

Try my best to be glad,

Glad that he’s not always mad,

Mad at me the way he used to,

He’s nicer and sweeter too,

To me he is still neglecting though, and I don’t know what to do….

Do about it because I don’t wanna mess up what is good,

Good but still not quite enough for me,

Me you see, I think that’s the problem I face,

Facing it because it\s all my fault I can’t be happy,

Happy he’s atleast trying,

Trying to do his best,

Best isn’t always good enough and for that I am sorry,

Sorry that I am failing….

Failing at just about everything, even when he’s putting forth an effort,

An effort that I hope I can take,

Take and hold and run with my all,

All that I have because above everything else he is my love,

Love that will not break or fail; no,

No I affirm, for his soul is mine and mine is his and for eternity we will together, this life overthrow…

ARay