an important educational mission

I sure showed those neighbors of mine, calling the cops on them again this year for disturbing the peace, staying up until all hours of the mornin'. So why am I up now? Because it’s time to get up, of course: 5:30 am! But this year having had the police car patrol the block with its rotating lights lit up is oddly unsatisfying. It’s just not gratifying.

I’ll head over to pick up my mates at the center. That was the best idea I’ve had yet, getting those senior center volunteers to adjust their hours for us. 6:00 am - 5:00 pm. Nobody in their right mind would drive home in the dark when all the drunks are out there behind the wheel. There’s nothing to driving in the dark before dawn, so long as you don’t have to dodge those 'bullets' flying toward you.

“Sammy, Sonny, git back in your trucks! We’ve got some roundin' up to do! I trust you’ve got your trumpets handy. You're gonna need 'em this mornin'!” We rode around and got the gals. They'd already roused, of course. It was kinda like doing panty raids of yore.

“Sonja, grab your pie tins and join the back of this here caravan. We’ve got some merrymaking to git to!”

After repeating this speech a dozen times, we headed back to my neck of the woods. The women sure outnumber us men at this age. We all parked and got out. Our little assemblage readied for a hootenanny and a mock shivaree combined. Our serenade as we made our way, walking through the slumbering streets a couple of times, was thoroughly enjoyable! We made enough vociferous racket to wake the dead! A few party shoes even sailed out onto front lawns through opened windows!

For good measure, I added a little to the fireworks debris they'd left laying everywhere. I’d been meaning to fire some clay artworks the gals had crafted down at the center. They were much obliged to sacrifice these beauts, their art, for this important educational mission. We managed to toss at least one lump of clay into each yard. I hope my neighbors will find them to be such delightful surprises, I hear exclamations of “Whoa, Nelly!” coming from every whichway. Shoot, some of these folk around here may not arise ’til this afternoon. By 3:00, I'll likely be heading over to the center for my dinner, still grinning like a possum.