Within The Confines Of My Mind

Pale ghosts haunt the glass...

Containment of their precious lives

put on display

for those who prey

like dogs in heat

for red flags raised

in crazed or nonplussed defiance

that cast a glare in ancient books of law...

We have them to thank for the fear

that keeps the wolves at bay,

but either way,

I am here and subject to their perusal...

...Here thinking of you...

What else can I ever do,

but think of you,

and pray you think of me

across this distance,

this immense expanse...

My love, I conjure you

in my jail cell,

this ponderous place where we have only

the contant bright bulb glaring down,

and the ominous hum,

and whirr of the building bellowing

from the rear

of where we sleep and defecate...

Even here, I have a private place

below my white blanket,

and below the surface,

where I can summon your

sweet face,

and for once in my many stints in the clink

I have a flesh and blood angel,

not just an abstract ideal...

You being so real

that you light up each and every hollow place

in the caverns of my being...

No depression here,

just worry that subsides

when I recall the depth of your smile,

and the deep trench of our sentiments,

the way we touch, kiss, and hold each

raw second in our hands like dough

when we make love and roll together,

tongues clasping

as you eagerly accept me and evenly match

each passionate embrace

as the waves rise and crash

in the lush outback of our

collective souls...

Our new child's eyes light up my

blanket tent now,

as I recall his beautiful high baby voice

as he smiles a smile

that could charm the pants off of any

New York Stock Exchange shark...

I've never seen a babe with a brighter spark,

and to think he came from our combined union

makes any length of time in the shade

not as dreary,

but still I yearn for freedom

so I can share in the joy of rearing this cherub

with my true love who waits for me

outside in the real world.

I pop my head out, and

from across the hall I see a pregnant blonde

throw a smile my way,

a rare exception in this nest of despair,

and time freeze...

Her orange jump suit barely covering

her swelling protuberance

that she continually strokes with pride,

reminding me of my own pregnant bride

before our son filled our lives with such light...

I have been gifted to share her happiness

for whatever length of time we share,

and I appreciate her

uplifting state of mind...

She hovers behind her exhibit screen,

and then wanders back into the throat

of the unseen,

offstage, and only where the officers

in the dark can observe,

though they all seem pre-occupied

with their computers as the prisoners

have been reduced to numbers on a screen.

I return to my white sac of a blanket,

a self-created womb,

and dream,

pulling my black face mask,

I brought to protect me from Corona

before I was incarcerated,

over my eyes

so I may dive ever deeper into my

reminiscing of my wife and baby on

my right side

where I can hug and kiss them,

and dwell in every detail of their beings...

"Soon..."

I say inside my mind...

"Soon..."

I will return and we will be reunite...

The skies will glow,

and the free birds will sing the joy

of our returning union from the trees!...

...Until then I call you up

from behind fastened eyes

within the confines

of my mind.

©

2/7/21

Bunny Villaire