A Moment, Stuck in Time

I look at my friend. "Today has not been a good day. I need a little bit of reassurance." They look back "Oh, no. Are you okay?" (This was the whole choir/band debate I covered a while ago. It was a little over a year ago, though.)

"No, it hasn't been a good day. I just told you this."

"Oh."

"Sorry, I'm a little bit pissy. How are you?" They tell me that they're fine and I explain what's up. Meanwhile they don't pay attention, and they keep fucking around on their phone. I stare at them, and wait for them to pay attention. That day, I waited 10 minutes before they looked at me. I sigh. "That's all, goodbye." They let me go.

What I wish could have happened, was that I would have been able to actually tell them, with them paying attention. I know the problem wouldn't have been solved, but I do know for a 100% fact that they would have advised me to take my issues up with the people that caused them. Again, wouldn't have solved the problem, because of other reasons, but at that point I wouldn't have had to worry much about it. It would not have escalated. So I guess the written form of this would be:

I look at my friend, and say "Hey, today has not been a good day. I need some reassurance." They look at me, and sigh. "Oh no, what happened?"

"[Random names for three people] are 'going on strike', because I said band is better than choir. I probably shouldn't be as affected as I am by this, but I am. What do I do?" (Shortened form of the story, it's a whole thing.)

"You could start by seeing what your issue with it actually is, the fact that they think choir is better, or that they aren't talking to you. Assuming it is the last bit, go ahead and tell them what your problems are, because nothing is ever solved by being quiet."

At this point, because I was told to, I would have gone and done that. I would have gone to them and told them that I was being a dick, and not them. Next I would have told them that I would have liked to continue talking, because a little ass-kissery never hurt, and that's who I was. Finally, I would have just hit anybody I had an issue with, because I was getting tired of it.

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This is probably one of the biggest moments in my life, and definitely most impactful. It has made me the hateful person I am today, and I'm proud of it. However, if it had gone this way, I would have still been friends with a super toxic person, and I wouldn't have pointed out their flaws. (This will be in a future post.) That being said, I think thats all I've got for you now.

Take care,

Winter.