doubt
are you sure?
are you really
really
really
sure
it just happened
I̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶’̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶
something that did just because
i̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶s̶u̶p̶p̶o̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶
what’s the word... an accident?
o̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶k̶n̶u̶c̶k̶l̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶s̶h̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶b̶l̶e̶e̶d̶s̶ ̶p̶a̶l̶e̶ ̶
it’s funny the things you forget
w̶h̶i̶t̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶o̶s̶a̶i̶c̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶t̶r̶a̶g̶e̶d̶y̶ ̶
and the ones you want to but somehow uninvited
f̶o̶l̶d̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶b̶r̶a̶i̶n̶ ̶s̶p̶a̶s̶m̶ ̶r̶e̶g̶r̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶’̶t̶
change can’t come sooner to them than the things
k̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶h̶o̶l̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶n̶t̶o̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶t̶e̶s̶t̶a̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶b̶l̶o̶o̶d̶
we want to hold onto, like what we had
d̶r̶i̶p̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶r̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶p̶a̶l̶m̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶
or what we have now, and I’d rather
b̶l̶o̶o̶m̶ ̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d̶ ̶r̶o̶s̶e̶
bury my head underneath throw pillows and a
I̶’̶m̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶f̶u̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶c̶o̶l̶d̶,̶ ̶t̶e̶e̶t̶h̶ ̶g̶l̶a̶s̶s̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶d̶i̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶
teethed blanket to shadow my eyes, to play me a tune of
u̶n̶d̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶c̶o̶a̶l̶ ̶i̶n̶s̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶r̶i̶b̶,̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ ̶a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶ ̶
“time heals”, and lie to myself again and again
a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶ ̶I̶’̶m̶ ̶s̶i̶n̶g̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶b̶r̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶s̶i̶n̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶e̶
until the sun dies and the universe collapses
l̶e̶t̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶v̶e̶n̶’̶s̶ ̶b̶a̶r̶c̶o̶d̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶r̶c̶h̶e̶s̶t̶r̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶e̶t̶e̶r̶n̶a̶l̶ ̶d̶a̶n̶c̶e̶
reminding me that maybe time doesn’t heal
a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶l̶‘̶s̶ ̶s̶p̶o̶t̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶s̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶r̶e̶,̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶g̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶t̶,̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶I̶’̶l̶l̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶
time makes it easier to forget