A Cheesy Love Letter

Dearest Squished French Fry,

If you see the dried spots on this page know it is not grease. It is my tears.

I have loved you since we met. I was but a child when we became friends. I walked in, saw you lying on the bustling freshly mopped floor. Someone had thrown you away or you had fallen from their hand... to this day, I know not. But when I saw you there, your golden love drew me in.

Ever since that fateful day I was faithful to you! I was never late to our three-a-day dates. I watched you swim in the bright pungent ketchup; occasionally you dove into my milkshake. We had so much fun together. I thought you completed me.

But things changed. I struggled to fit through the door of the nostalgic spot we met. You no longer satiated my graving, I needed more! I jumped ship, and pursued your friend- the abundant cheeseburger with her hearty kindness and fluffy buns. But nothing helped. Nothing could fill the void left by your presence. You will always be the love of my life, but I must let you go. I have joined a gym, I’ve joined a support group. I can’t believe I’m saying this but... I met someone there. Her name is Salad. She is struggling from rejection issues and bitterness, but she’s helped me through a lot so far. She’s advised I put a restraining order on you. You cared nothing for me but to make my time, money and health waste away. Thus, my love, I write my farewell.

Your heartbroken lover,

A loyal McDonald’s customer

By Adventurer7

3-1-21