Disturbed

I feel...assailed.

By someone or something, I can't...

Is it real, or perceived?

Does it matter?

If the thing that disturbs you does not exist, are you no less disturbed?

I look for it.

I feel its presence.

But like a quantom particle, when I look for it one place, it ceases to be there.

I try and take solace that it probably does not exist, that I am mistaken and everything is probably fine.

Then why am I disturbed?

If a problem does not exist, it is exceedingly hard to correct it.

It occurs to me that the perception of something being wrong, IS the thing that is wrong, and that by extrapolation, THAT is the problem, and it DOES indeed exist.

This makes it no easier to get my hands around it. To grab and wrangle, to force into submission, that which displeases me. In the real world, that is exactly what I would do. Metting out justice with my hands, as this world has taught me.

And so, I remain frustrated.

Chasing my tail as it were, pouncing, or attempting to pounce anyway, on that elusive, ever-present pebble in my shoe.