gold

badges that cover bruises

fixed on my upper arm

hiding the scars from last year.

it’s difficult to breathe right now

as if someone’s pressing on my chest

hugging me too tightly.

the air escapes my lungs at

the sight of you standing before

me as if nothing changed

as if you didn’t stab me in

the chest and then in the back

when i turned to walk away.

they said ‘walk away’ ‘be the better man’

‘take the higher road’ so i did

i tried but where did that get me

a year in pitch black darkness

surrounded by monsters that

whispered my greatest fears in the

dead of the night, their voices

chasing shivers up my spine,

through my body, and touching

my core as if it were base and

they’d be safe there. as if i would

protect them with everything i had

and hold them close, to warm them

to a burnt golden color. i wish i could

but i’m not strong enough. my

cold hands twist around their

words, icy fingers prying

the lies apart and pressing them

to my bleeding heart as if they

will stop the infinite bleeding.

yet nothing gold can stay

but not all that glitters is gold.

and as you stand there, your

fake smile plastered on a facade

you’ve been holding for too long,

i force a smile and walk towards you,

embracing you in a hug

and stab the knife into your

back, watching you bleed gold.