Verbal Abuse

Your words are no clearer when you scream.

Your point is no sharper when you shout.

And when your eyes are holding that gleam

all I want is to turn and walk my way out.

The funny thing is I wasn’t arguing with you

I had no intention of starting this fight

my only mistake was keeping my claims true

when all you wanted was to hear you’re right.

And when I’m sitting there seeing hysterics

because we’ve veered a little off course

at this point the charade is only generic

when you steer as you shriek yourself hoarse.

And I’ve done my best through these years

to reach some high point where I’ll meet

the demands that I’ve fought for with tears

through the sweltering of your anger’s heat.

But I’m tired now, it’s been too long for

me to keep living in this crushing way

and I’ve realized what you’ve done with your

jamming my feelings, belittling them away.

A part of me is stunted, maybe it will heal

or maybe not – but ultimately I now see

I’ve worked out a new way, a new deal

wherein I’ll focus on me being free.

I love you – I’ll always love you, no matter

the cost, but I have to save myself before

what’s left of me falls to the ground to shatter

and I can’t keep living for you anymore.

And in the end I must say I am sorry

that I never managed to step in and satisfy

your needs so that you would be happy

and your wants I could never fully gratify.

But you’ve taught me something, really

to be level-headed, to keep myself grounded

when things get tougher – I become steely

from all the times your words have pounded.

You’ve equipped me fully to keep my feet

firmly planted on the ground and to know

things aren’t black and white and to greet

each difference and obstacle with a show

of understanding.

You see I’ve learned from you

and in the end I have joy

In knowing that I -

I will never -

be you.