Oops
i tripped and i fell
always the clumsy one, me.
i tripped and i fell
right into you.
like some cheesy romance flick
i sat next to you on the bus,
and i discovered what it was like
to have a crush so intense
that it threatened to destroy you.
i'd had crushes before.
but none like this.
loving her gave me a sense of rebellion.
of being true to myself.
of course, it also meant i had to put up
with the carelessly thrown insults
when she was in a bad mood.
she didn't mean them to hurt,
i was just
collateral damage.
she ripped me apart,
and still i could not stop
wanting her.
years went by, each year she got
farther from me
and closer to someone else.
and still i could not stop
wanting her.
i didn't know the reasons
behind my want.
i didn't know why
i wanted her to want me
when i didn't even want to be me.
i didn't understand,
and if i'm being honest,
i still don't.
i'm still waiting for someone to love me
the way i loved her.
and i'm hoping that,
when they do,
i won't let them down
the way she let me down
over and over again.