De Facto

Leaving my room

In putrid rage, foggy mind

And conscience at its death bed.

Running to the kitchen

To grab a glass of sparkling air

Smashing it on the wall without fear.

Holding onto every shard,

Feeling the friction of the pieces on

My palm as the static turns into dynamic.

Rubbing continuously,

Pleading those chunks to not go

To not leave me like my sanity

Or the way those humans do.

Seeing the blood say goodbye, telling

Me that it’s happy to end this hellish ride.

Dripping drops of crushed character.

Just tears following the fanatic laughter.

Adulterated soul torturing the poor carcass.

Fingers falling with the glass, along

With a strange body & a stranger heart

Strength flowing out, doubts stuck inside.

My family wouldn’t care, friends never did.

Taking me to a doctor is all they will do

Or a simple, “What has happened to you?”

Their laser sharp eyes

Fail to ponder what they see, their

Strong brains disgusted by my crazy mind.

Soon they forget the past,

Thinking I’m back on the right track,

Back to the living prison without any bars.

So I’ll continue counting

The number of breaths stolen by my

Peace because that’s how it’ll live and breed.

Continue gagging on my own sorrow,

Conscious turning pickly sour, while I’ll be

Busy blowing bubbles of my sweet serenity.

Embarrassed at my fiasco attempt, my

Bruised hands desperate to do that again,

Just for them to understand my de facto life.

×∞ Adin

11 March 2021