Late Nite TV

Wombats are marsupials. They have a pouch where their belly button should be. That’s what the tv is telling me, at two a.m. while I’m clipping my toenails in the dark. These guys are rambling about some fancy animal, and I’m tired of it.

“There are more important things to talk about,” I lecture the tv. “Anyone can store things in their belly button.”

To prove my point, I grab a couple of hamburger pickles I left on my plate, and try to cram them into my belly button. They stick to my skin and stink an awful funk.