where my demons hide

maybe someone will hear me and understand that it’s harder than it looks to be alive and when I suffered from anorexia and people stared and didn’t offer to help me maybe that was because I’m useless and maybe my self-pity all leads back to my demons hiding.

my demons comfort me in ways in which others do not understand but I understand them and sometimes when I’m alone I cry and I think this is the demons coming out from hiding.

and when my mother said I am useless I cried and I laughed because the demons say so too and it feels like a warm hug.

there are multitudes of reasons not to listen to your demons but for me this is impossible and I am constantly fighting them in my mind while trying to focus on life but they are loud loud loud.

and the loud loud loud demons fight for my attention and while this is bad it does distract me from my life.

demons provide comfort provide stability in thought provide consistent love.