before i die
Before I die.... A truly deep question to ask thyself, if one is willing to look deep and reflect inwards. The simple answer could be going somewhere or doing something, but those can be meaningful memories, but what good does that do you when you are gone? The memories you hold dear, will they matter with what comes after death? Regardless of what you believe happens after death, it is all unknown.
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Before I die, I do not want to be like the many who want to be remembered for doing something big and great to society and others don’t want to be forgotten, but so many do not want to be remembered for a feeling. A feeling--yes. I mean that you bring something more than just yourself, even the feeling of your presence. A feeling. A feeling that is missed and those who were near and dear to you now miss that feeling and remember you not for your status in society, how much or little you talked, or anything else, but remember you for the feeling you brought to them. Whether that was your silent comfortable presence, endless thoughts, and ideas, no stop jokes or talking or arguing, happiness, joy, or maybe a shoulder to cry on. All these things link to emotions--to feelings that stain others in ways indescribable. Stain in a good way, as one stains wood so it lasts long with a look unique to itself. A stain that brings out the good rich character of the wood, as that person stains you by bringing out who you are, and your best. Someone stains deep into your vines and roots, which is irreplaceable.
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Before I die, I want this to be my legacy. I don’t need my accomplishments in life written in a book, or even have any part of my life written in a book. I don’t need anything else, but to be missed. Not missed in a way where those that miss me cannot move on, but missing in the sense that I was not just replaceable, and that the feeling I brought was something that they realized was something truly special.
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Before I die, I want to stain others in the best of ways, that impact that person in a way that makes them a deeper person. The smallest of amounts is more than enough. One simple suggestion I hope changes them and opens their eyes to the world.
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Before I die, I want to be able to open the eyes of those around me. Open them to the truth that is not easily seen to them. Help those who have accepted the blindness presented to them from the lies that surround us.
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Before I die, I hope I helped every person I could and did everything in my power to uplift them to success and happiness. I hope that I do not fall this task, and those will not take for granted the help they receive from others.
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Before I die, or even after, I do not accept recognition for the things I did or admitted to do. I do not need thanks or praise in any way. I simply asked not to be forgotten and that the feeling I brought to those around me, was something truly special that only I could bring in my own unique way; like so many other people bring a unique feeling to every interaction. I hope that I made a positive impact regardless how big or small to others.
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Before I die, I hope to know that I did what was right and that my life was not wasted.
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Before I die, I hope to look back at the way I stained the world in the best ways.
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Before I die, I hope all of this will be true, and then--only then will I rest peacefully.