he came

the friend i never had

and he was the best friend i'd

ever had.

he kept me from

hurtling over the edge.

he was always there

and yet he was never there.

so many contradictions

that i've learned to ignore.

because if he's the friend i never had

then how come he's saved me

more than anyone else?

so many contradictions

that i've learned to ignore

because if i allow myself to think too hard

he might disappear

and i'll

break.