chapter nineteen

Duncan was right.

It wasn’t a surprise, of course, when Odin entered my chambers late that night to explain to me what had happened. He looked strained, a coiled wire. Somehow, his face was strangely alive. He thrives off moments like this, where the bred general in him gets to peek through. His eyes were wide, almost thrilled, voice quick and hushed with passion flickering in his small smile.

Soldiers claiming to be ordered by their queen, my aunt, came through the doors, the enemy at my own home. Turns out the official reports state them as brides who somehow managed to get hold of Lanese’s uniforms. But we know better. If they’ve been trying to capture the castle, they’re doing an awful job at it. I voice my concerns to Odin.

Now, in his chambers after a walk around the dead castle, I ask, “Don’t you think if they’re really trying to get rid of me, it seems almost as though they’re failing on purpose?” My voice is hushed as I enjoy the sound of his heartbeat next to my ear. My leg is strewn carelessly on his lap. I’m too tired to bother. The exhaustion of the day wears me down, makes his voice sound eerily soft, like a lullaby, despite it narrating horrific things.

He stops caressing my back, heaving a sigh. “Unless they aren’t ready yet. I mean, it’d make sense, their desire to spread fear would make us seem weak in the eyes of the council and nearby nations, including Spilten, so we won’t be suspicious of anything. They fail the attempts because they want to. It gives them time to buy the army, strategize.”

I close my eyes, trailing patterns on the worn jacket. He got rid of the intruders, sent them to the dungeons for questioning earlier tomorrow. Right now, his warmth belongs to me. I cling to him desperately, trying to make me forget Logan’s words. They might’ve been true, but I don’t have the energies to second-guess. My order echoes in my ears, even hours after its delivery.

“So Denly was right in having our personnel checked? They’re not as loyal as we thought.”

Kissing my forehead, I know he only does it to lessen the blow. “They are loyal. Just not to us.” Not to us. I wonder if they’ve ever been. Father was an authoritative figure, he thrived on fear rather than respect. I think my precarious situation would make him laugh at my naivety.

“Duncan was right, then,” I admit, pushing myself off his chest. My palm caresses the thing fabric, my back aching after hours spent in something close as a sewer. “We need to make that announcement public, and soon.”

It takes him a while to answer. “So, you are marrying me?”

My cheeks blush. My posture changes. I shift my weight, sitting down with my legs crossed, tipping my head to stare at my lap. The worn leggings are a comfort. I hate wearing dresses every day. “Unless you don’t want to,” I add, twisting the rings on my

fingers.

A soft chuckle is heard before he pulls me closer again, shaking his head. “We’ll make it public the day you want me to. I have no regrets. Do you?”

I shrug under his soft touch. I know myself enough to know if I overthink this through, I won’t be able to go through with it. “You were right before. I don’t want to marry someone I don’t know. You’re my safest bet.” Only to ease some of the tension I feel building up, I smile at him. “Also, you promised to show me those amazing bed skills, so are you backing out now?”

His smirk lets me know he wasn’t waiting for my reply. “I—no. However, why are you so intrigued when you know I’m a”—he rubs my cheek, whispering in my ear—“virgin?” I hear his smirk all the same, delicious shivers running down my spine.

I push his shoulder softly, kissing his cheek. Emotions like these are rare. Being with him is different. There’s not a protocol guiding my actions. I move on my own, responding to his words. It’s easy, the easiest I’ve done since father left. I dig a finger on his cheek, biting my lip. “A very cute, very handsome virgin.”

He groans, swatting my hand away jokingly. “You’ll make me throw up. With further consideration, can I back out?” he asks, sending us into a laughing frenzy.

“Are you ready to be a king?” I trace his jawline, my hair covering us from the stale air of the room.

He hums deeply, tracing my lips. He notices the tremors as I shake in his grip. “Maybe. I don’t know much about politics but...” “But Lucas has been teaching you stuff,” I finish for him. His eyes find mine. I shrug, answering his unasked question. “I keep an eye on him. And on you. I’m glad he has. Means he likes you.”

“How long will it take?” he asks, tipping his head to whisper the words into the crook of my neck. I can’t read the expression on his features. I content myself by touching the nape of his neck. “From the moment we make it public to the altar?”

I sigh, lying down next to him. “A week. Greece is already making sure everything’s in place.” Ordering flowers, perfecting dresses, planning the time and place, talking to the chefs to provide my favorite meal, as well as organizing a pretty detailed guest list. Heaven adds to the masterful haste.

“Are you scared?”

The word rushes to my mouth. “No.” I smile, allowing peace to relax my limbs. “Not if

it’s with you.”

He smirks again, taking my hand. It’s something he likes doing, something I enjoy. His hand on mine feels right. He wears a ring on his middle finger, a big gold monster with a single stone in the middle of the ‘A’ etched on it. A for Abernarthy, A for Alexandra.

“There’s been reports of riots rising in parts where they hadn’t before. Your security advisor—my father—is trying to contain them.” He barely mutes, stating it as another mere fact. For him, it is. For me, it makes unease felt in my stomach. But I trust him. I trust him with my life. I can trust him with the riots. His father, though, he’s another story.

I nod. “Does your father agree with the wedding? Your mother?” I trace the veins on his hand with the tips of my fingers, focusing intently on his skin on mine to serve as a balm against the fear quickly making its way through my system.

He shrugs. “He’s sour. Old man can’t believe he didn’t get the chance to be a king.”

“Not funny, Odin,” I chide, squeezing his wrist.

He returns the gesture kindly. “They are aware, and they’re happy. They like you, for some reason beyond my knowledge.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Ha. Ha. Very funny.”

His lips interrupt my comeback, pressing me against the pillows. I tumble back, my spine hitting soft fabric. I sigh, pulling him close to me eagerly. His touch is soft but fierce, careless and passionate. I bask in his warmth shielding me.

I pull away when I’m sure I can’t go another second without air. “Take it easy, boy,” I tell him, breathless. “Save that for the wedding night. They want an heir as soon as we marry.”

He raises his eyebrows as his chest heaves. “Do you?”

I dodge his question, standing up. He protests weakly, and part of me wants to jump back to the bed, stay with him the entire night. I know I can’t trust my decisions when I’m with him. I will the fog away. “I don’t know what I want anymore. I’m a queen, I’m supposed to want what they want, and soon you’ll learn to do it, too.”

His lower lip trembles, a child mocking hurt. “But I only want you.”

Making sure my dress is perfectly smooth, I turn to smile at him. Even if there are rumors of our engagement, I need to keep up the façade of innocence. No one can know I was in his room. “I have to leave. Public speech early morning tomorrow,” I explain, wishing it weren’t that way.

He groans, turning around. “Stay,” he pleads, just like I did all those days ago when I was drugged. I don’t remember much of it, but I remember his weight on my back, keeping the nightmares at bay.

Unlike that night, I have things to ponder, boys to mourn. “I can’t,” I murmur, even if it’s what I really want to. “Soon, though.”

With the promise I leave him, closing the door softly behind me. I make a promise to myself too.

I’ll allow my heart to love that man.

******

I’m starting to get rid of the problem where it all began, with the brides and the lack of common sense by the council. It’s a new strategy. I’m giving them what they want, or a version of it, while keeping some of it to my advantage.

I stand before a crowd of at least a hundred people, the same plaza where my coronation was, almost a month ago. Their eyes are wide, reflecting the same thing I felt when I woke up on the bed after being out for weeks. Disappointment.

“It is a pleasure to me, to announce alongside my brother’s engagement to Princess Chloesa from Toyar, I will also be wed soon.” The crowd cheers, mainly composed of sympathizers, nobles or high-ranking commoners. It does little to stop my hand from shaking as I signal Odin to step forward. He moves with robotic movements, his hand grazing my hip. “This is Odin Abernarthy, general of our ally’s army, Lanese.”

I make a pause. If there’s something I learned from the thousands of speeches I ever witnessed my father give, was where to make pauses, and where the blow hurts the least.

It’s a skill, being able to craft a speech. I prolong the inevitable, giving away the life I wanted for the life I must have, the ideas of a perfect marriage chosen by myself. Selling myself off to someone who will take care of me. Someone whom I’ve known for two months.

I swallow the fear down, placing a well-practiced smile. “He, as well as I, will honor you and your wishes, remaining close to God and to you, taking care of every single one of your needs. He’ll protect this country as if it were his own.”

He nods as he steps forward, just another step to place him on full display right before me, a soft smile playing with his lips. I take a breath to steady myself. I have to be strong for him. Born in the high realm, he takes my hand, his shaking slightly. “The wedding will be happening in a week, securing not only our position among other nations but the stable monarchy you desire.

“It shames me to say,” I continue, “that although I would love for you, my people, to be there with me on the very special day, due to security measures imposed because of the brides, it is impossible for us. However, I would like to be a queen known to listen to every party involved in these senseless riots. Though, of course, we aren’t perfect either. The monarchy has made some mistakes in the past, and so have I.”

Odin’s brow furrows. I swallow. I can’t stop now. I feel a bead of sweat go down my neck. They don’t know what I’m doing. To be fair, neither am I.

I squeeze his hand, harder this time, leaching whatever strength he has and using it to fuel my words. “I want to listen to the other side of the story as well, not only our benefits from keeping up with the Coltrane decrees. That is why I’m sure the brides must be listening to this. A collision as strong and united as yours must have a leader, right?” Or rather, multiple of them. James. Nalyn.

The council doesn’t know I’m about to do this, but they can’t harm me as long as they know I’m soon to be wed. I’m using Odin as a bulletproof vest, to keep me alive while I try this without risking my life.

He plays the part, protecting me with his broad frame and kind words. I speak to the camera before me, a small smile on my lips. A smile designed to erase the fear flickering in my eyes. “I would appreciate it if your leader came forth. Not to the castle, of course.

A letter would do. Later on, we will settle a meeting where we will discuss both of our needs. Please keep this in consideration, my people. Thank you for listening.”

I can tell from the look Odin gives me he doesn’t agree with my plan. As a general, he must have every single move laid out, every turn and twist planned. I’m a bit more spontaneous. Reckless. Idiotic. The council mustn’t agree, either. But I don’t care, I only have this choice.

Sometimes, diplomacy and stupidity can be the key to everything.

If I don’t deal with the brides, and soon, I won’t be able to deal with Lanese. I must keep this country safe. For me, and for Lucas. For my parents. Mom’s voice echoes in my head.

You do what you must to keep the crown safe.

______

hii! new chapter :) i kinda really like this one. hope you enjoy! let me know what you think / if you'd like to be tagged

thanks for reading

- goldenmel