Recognizing Depression (Now Get Over It)

You don't want to do anything,

or you start a hundred things

and never finish one of them.

You Don't Care

-about the overflowing trash can.

-about stains on the bathroom floor.

-that your hair is dirty.

-what the date is, or if it's a weekday.

-that your feet are black on their soles.

-if your whole house is dirty.

If you feel guilty that your boyfriend has no clean laundry, or there's no clean cups for your child to get a drink...that's a good sign.

--Guilt means you still care.

If you observe these things and feel annoyed that no one else does chores, that's even better.

--Annoyance means you still see some value in yourself.

---If you observe these things and feel nothing, you're seriously depressed.

You don't want to go to the store

Cuz you might see someone you know.

You don't want to go to the mailbox

Cuz the neighbors might speak to you.

When you do get the mail in, it remains

unopened in piles all over your messy house.

The floor is an obstacle course,

you learn patterns of steps to avoid,

rather than picking shit up.

You have money in the bank,

but your bills are unpaid.

Shut off notices get taped to the front door.

You don't want to go anywhere.

Ever.

If you have to go somewhere,

you keep head down and eyes averted.

You return home as quickly as possible.

You resent questions about your life.

If you go to work,

you can't focus or complete anything.

You try to sneak in

so your coworkers don't notice

because you don't want to talk to them.

What you do complete is a mess.

You just quit going to work.

You quit answering the phone.

You ignore text messages.

You unhook the doorbell.

Facebook pisses you off.

TV is stupid and music annoys you.

You notice your friends quit calling,

but you don't really care.

Cuz they're stupid and annoying too.

You are lonely, but don't want to be alone.

When you have to talk to people,

You say what they want to hear to make them feel better.

Like "Yes, I'm getting over it"

And "Nope, I'd never kill myself."

You go to therapy for the sole purpose of making those people shut up.

When you notice that you're flat -

-Nothing makes you all that mad,

-Nothing makes you all that happy.

-The ASPCA commercials with Sarah Mclaughlin music invoke no emotion at all.

-Comedies aren't that funny.

-Cake isn't all that tasty.

You sleep a lot or not much at all.

You stay up all night

but sleep until 4 in the afternoon.

You quit eating.

Or you eat your feelings.

When hope is abandoned.

When every outcome you consider hurts.

When you can't picture a happy ending.

When you recognize pain you cause others is greater than the pain of your absence.

When you know your loved ones would be relieved by your death.

When you don't care if you live or die.

That's depression.