epilogue

Duncan walked me down the aisle. I remember it. I remember the dress and the people cheering. My heart a painful reminder I was alive, about to seal my fate. It pulsed steadily. My lungs worked at miles per hour. My head spun as I caressed the thin, fragile material my dress was made of.

The images blurry past as I sit on the cold marble, a harsh stone called reality.

Almost in a daze, I repeated the condemning vows in front of the pope, and I felt the warm assurance of Odin’s hands on mine as I whispered a faint I do.

My mind was consumed with thoughts, looking every which way to see if a threat was coming. I feared for Odin and for Lucas.

I never feared for Logan.

This is what the life I hated had done to me. The day I’d dreamed of for my entire life was one I soon learned to dread, and it’d replay in my mind for the months to come.

Odin’s lips brushed mine, but I barely felt a thing. I’d spent years wondering how that moment would feel like, wishing it’d be with someone I loved more than myself, but it had been nothing compared to my imagination.

Briefly, I imagined mom and dad seating on a pew, smiling at me while holding each other close. Part of me knew something was wrong, the threat had come to be, but I was so blind keeping my hands firmly intertwined with Odin’s and keeping an eye on Lucas to notice who was really gone. As long as Odin never left my side it meant he was alive, with me, here.

He didn’t seem faced by the threat. Understanding flickered in his eyes as we spun around the dance floor. His grip was a bit tighter on me, but I understood. I didn’t mind. I tried to push the thoughts away. I was doing fine; I was alive, honoring father’s wishes. Mother’s voice echoed my inner resolve.

As I walked around the castle in the middle of the party, I tried to excuse my foolish behavior. I just needed to see him one last time, I promised myself, as I knocked on his door. Just one more time and I’d be happy. I’d let him go and I’d move on. He had refused the invitation to the wedding. I didn’t judge him. I would’ve done the same. I barely could stomach the thought of him belonging to someone else.

But that girl had to be gone. I had to get rid of her, no matter the consequences.

When the answer to my weak knocks didn’t come, the door never opened, I wondered briefly if he’d gone to the wedding. I doubted it for a second. With my head swimming in wine, I sat down on the floor, waiting for him. My reasoning was he had to come back soon, wherever he was. Maybe he was checking up on his parents, or maybe he’d gone to the kitchen.

When the seconds turned to minutes and I still sat at the door, wedding dress and heavy makeup on, my gut clenched. I laid my hands on the linoleum floor to find my fingers caressing a soft leather piece.

I knew what it was before my eyes trailed the hasty text.

Happy wedding, Your Highness. Took a little something from you, hope you don’t mind. Say hello to that enriched soldier for me.

-B.G

Before my brain could process it, I remember thinking that taking him instead of killing him was something worse than death itself. And then it settled on my mind, knocking the air off my lungs. I couldn’t beckon the strength I needed to stand up. Life was stolen from me, vitality, energy. I was weak and drunk. But still, the words resonated in my mind, jolting me awake.

I had no room for heartache, pain. A numbness came to me, spreading down my chest to my legs, my throbbing head, and shaky hands. Grief settled in the pit of my stomach, anger battling and losing against sorrow.

My boy was gone, taken, stolen. In danger. Together with him, any trace of the girl I’d been vanished.

The words cluttered in my mind, freezing me in the impending moment.

Logan was gone.

And I’ll do anything to get him back. Not because I love him, not because I need him, but because I feel stranded, alone, scared.

Because they have taken a piece of me with him. Because if it wasn’t before, it is now.

A war.

Even if I don’t know who I’m fighting against.

_______________

this is the epilogue! this book my baby sooo i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did. im starting to post the next book next week so stay tuned for that too!

thank you for reading

-goldenmel