No request is too extreme..

all you need to know is how to ask.

but how did this all begin?

well, i’ll tell you..it started one evening, when i was taking my supper at the inn. there was this guy that was passing through town. lonely merchant..got bearly enough to afford the bed for the night at Stromboli’s..

I felt sorry for him, he looked really down on his luck..so what will it hurt? i buy the guy a pint of watered-down ale...anyway.. the guy is so gratedul , he starts telling met about the blue fairy , and how he got her to do stuff for him. I didnt believe him at first, but the way he told it, and the details...well, I am a skeptic, as you know, but after a few more drinks which I bought for him, and he still kept the story straight. it got me wondering. a drunk that tells the same story, withour giing off to crazytown....

so I got him to tell me his secret, how to get her to work for him. to tell you the truth, he was thinking small. maybe that is why he got to that sad state..

me, I’m going for something more..em..substantial..

Don’t get me wrong, every case is different. you need to realize that the blue fairy is not human but not a fool either. she sees when someone is just fooling around or abusing her generosity. if you want to get things done, it needs to be something subtle.

so I started off with testing. I figured that if I wanted to acheive my goal, I need to be systemic about it. you know, take exact notes, verifiability,  reproducable results...all that good methodology stuff..

so I started with a fish. a fish is easy to carve out of wood. i fleshed out the shape, then spend time on the fine ..the really fine detail like the fins and the scales. it takes a lot of time and very sharp tools...then of course I carfully painted..., working mainly with acrylics, so they don’t fade in the water...lacquer was also an issue....I could have just baught the thing, out of a toy store, but i have my pride, I guess.. besides,  it needed to be a work that comes from the heart, or she would know in a second.

I prayed and wished, wished and prayed and the blue fairy never came. then I remembered that when the guy at the inn told me his way of summoning her, he sang some kind of song. but he was pretty drunk by that point, and it could be that he forgot the words, or couldn’t help sounding flat, when he was drunk.

so I did some research on my own. apprently there is quite a lot on blue fairies out there. if you know where to look.

from what I could gather, the song needs to be an original, and it needs to be precisely worded, to maximize effect. so no “give me! give me! give me!” stuff.

I tried to phrase the song as something that only indirectly requests her help. make it as something...well as a general right that people have, if they wish upon a star.

don’t even use conditional form, if you can help it.. use “when..” or “whenever..” and not.“if”, certainly not “unless”. you never want to make it an ultimatum.

I phrased the song also in future simple tense, “things WILL come to.you..”. that sort of thing..it implies you have no doubt that this will come to pass... you know, let the lady know you have complete confidence in her, give her an ego boost, why not?....

Of course I threw in some stuff about having a true heart, dreams coming true, that sort of thing... to make it more likeable. make her think that i was not asking for the moon, but for something that was trully innocent and good.

that’s another thing I came across in the research; that i shouldn’t ask for something that is not possible for her to do. she does magic, not miracles. think doable or not doable.

I’ll even add, that she isn’t that generous. she won’t drain herself for you, doesn’t matter how much you cry. this wish-granting thing is not her full-time..so giving life for a wooden goldfish is doable, stealing all the gold in Europe is not. too much work for her. you really should put things in her perspective a bit. if you catch her in the right mood, she may want to help, but never to such a point that it’s too much work.

I didn’t even ask for the fish to come to life in my song. just a general plea for help..

composing the song was also hard.. the blue fairy likes extended harmony, not just two- three triangle chords....that doesn’t cut it with her... no, she has higher musical standards.

it took me a long time, sitting by the piano, composing. you’ll laugh, but my voice changed a bit during this time, and I couldnt hit the high note that I wanted anymore. had to transpose the whole thing down..

so..tial and error stuff... trial and error.. I played with the words and the tune again and again. it took years. YEARS. but in the end..the wooden fish came to life. luckily, I kept record of everything i was doing..and stuck to the program.

So yeah, she came to me one night, told me that she heard my song-the one that worked and none of the rest, just so you understand what it takes.

She swished her little stick and my wooden fish became a coy, flapping helplessly in the plate I put it on...oh, i HAD a fish bowl ready, you see, but...I figured that these experiments were taking a long time..and.. if I keep the wooden fish floating on the water so long, until I figure out the song, the wood would just rot...

but  I quickly caught ‘Cleo’ and put her in the water, just in time. the fairy was gone so quickly. didn’t even stick around for my thanks. but I thanked her anyway. I am a good actor, but after all the work I put in, it was truly from the heart.

so it worked. I have proof-positive that the blue fairy would do things for me. I composed the song open-ended, so I didn’t have to make another song every time I wanted something. could you imagine having to go through all that work again?! maybe that was the problem for that guy at the inn..

next test was...emm..well... a grasshopper...yeah, i know..i sort of screwed up the proportion.. a lot of work with the carving knife, it might actually be the finest work I’ve done. A real beauty. I put it by the window, sang the song with the most schmaltz that I could muster, and she came again. she was a bit puzzled, why I needed a grasshopper..em i mean cricket..why i needed an insect if I already had a goldfish?

but this is something you need to understand about her. she does not entirely understand what we really want and why. she doesnt suspect that I was doing this as a test. “oh, well” she must have thought, “give the crazy old man another pet. he must be lonely” she waved her wand a bit and I got a large insect jumping around. this time it was even able to talk and sing!!

ha!

I guess she thought I needed the companionship.

remember:doable stuff!!

So what now eh?

well, Jiminy, I’m glad you asked. now I know how to get her to do my bidding. she has a soft spot for me, and I am really excited. all that hard work is soon going to pay up big time.

don’t get me wrong, you and Cleo are just great, but you were both just steps along the way. I am now fairly confident that I can persuade her..you know.. give her the old song and dance, make her get all fuzzy inside...and ...well, now I am getting all confused... it’s ironic, really , to think that after all this time it’s so hard to make up my mind..but ...well..I guess I better show you.

Emm..you see outside the window, Jim-Jim? emm? well there is this very tall ceder tree , much taller than the other trees here.. see it? well...I measured it a while ago, and it’s about eighty feet high. girth is about twenty at the bottom.

it’s going to be hell cutting it down, it might even kill me. but I have to try.. I’ll trim the branches, keep the big ones for extra fittings... I guess I’ll get a few donkeys and mules, pull the whole thing over here...well.., carving will take me more than a year, for sure, especially since the wood would still be moist..maybe more than a year...I am getting old.....and i can’t just wish for the fountain of youth, or something.. she DOESN’T do miracles..

but..oh well..now for the big question: this is going to be my magnum opus. my legacy...and i can’t really decide..funny right? do I want the blue fairy tow make a dragon for me or a sand-worm?

I haven’t decided yet, but I’ll let you know. and don’t try and talk me out of it. I am not in the mood and there is so much to do..