The One Thing

I would like to think that if I was asked the one thing in my life I am sure of, that I would answer with something profound.

Maybe something immediately agreeable, like love or family being the most important thing in life.

Or maybe I would answer something subversive and facetious. An angsty line of “life is random and has no meaning.” But seriously, on that note, can we all agree that life just sucks sometimes? When something truly, truly, terrible happens, isn’t it kind of insulting to be told it’s for some kind of higher purpose? I’d rather it be random. I prefer a universe that is randomly cruel than one that is intentionally so, but that’s just me.

My answer could also be one of those low-key narcissistic, unnecessarily elaborate explanations of my “core values.” I think I read somewhere that we form those early in life. That it becomes really, really hard to change after that. Like, if you’re a selfish asshole by a certain age, you’re probably going to be an asshole for the rest of your life, except you get a little better at hiding it.

Or I can just cop out and say that I can’t be sure. Because, really, being sure is a special kind of dangerous isn’t it? I’m willing to bet that most suicide bombers were pretty damn sure they were going to Valhalla before they pushed that detonate button.

So if there’s one thing I am sure of, it’s that I’m probably not very sure of anything. It’s a cop out, I know, but for today I’m going with it. Tomorrow, I might change my mind anyway.