Vorfreude

Vorfreude

i was anticipating rainbow colors fill my life.

red was supposed to be my lehenga,

fluttering & radiating as much as your smile, and roses

but now red is your blood, flooding my thoughts on anxious nights,

i know you are gone,

our love was like a burning garden,

it’s spreading and sophisticated

dreamy but destroying,

gleaming but gloomy

yellow was supposed to be the daisy & dandelion flowers,

decorating my home, and yellow jumpsuit when i first met you, the sunny days, when we would sit on the terrace, sipping tangy orange juice,

but yellow is the shirt which you wore in the hospital room when i last saw you,

i know you are gone

our love was like a burning garden

it’s bright but bitter

pleasing but painful

tempting but terrifying

orange was autumn, warm like your poetry floating on my thoughts

miranda orange soda, and the clicks of your polaroid camera,

the bright lipgloss, which you would have got for me,

but now orange is my journal, where I write my agony

i wish you could see it

i know you are gone

our love was like a burning garden

it’s dazzling but distressing

magnificent but miserable

fancy but flickering

green was supposed to be Christmas and Eid, surrounding our home,

you remember the small green plant you potted with a time capsule,

the surreal streets, we were dancing just like La La Land,

but green is now you’re memories, like dried autumn leaves,

my empty prayers, my worship, my faith, my last wish,

i know you are gone

our love was like a burning garden

it’s happy but haunting

satisfying but silly

lovely but lightning

pink was the memories we build together on camelia dawn

and reflections of your window glass, it was pastel-like small stickers on your guitar,

my hair was pink when I meet you

But now it's pitch black like midnights when I lost you

I know you are gone

Our love was like a burning garden

It's very vivacious but vicious

exciting but eccentric

black is concealing the memories,

and I thought of making my home with you,

where tranquility prevails in our terrace,

heavenly hill will bless us with spring flowers, cherry blossoms will wake us up,

it would have been like a Disney movie,

but the book of you and i decided to end on an empty page,

but now i am tired

of searching you like a star, in pitch darkness, a sweet little tear for you, the black hairband you had left,

you had taught me to make an eyeliner wing, that has washed away,

i know you are gone

Our love was like a burning garden,

it’s like breathing carbon, it’s a slow death,

it’s fear but you were so dear,

i don’t care if i settle down like the rainbow after this flood.

Vorfreude