wedding

she sits on the couch with tears flowing down her face. the movie just ended with the two leads getting married as so many love stories do. but her tears arent from happiness for the characters. the tears are for her. most people love weddings but she doesnt. they remind her of how lonely she is. not in terms of her being single but in regards to friends. she often wondered if she had a wedding how many people would be there? how many bridesmaids will she have, if any at all? how many people would be there that she wanted to invite versus those she had to invite. would her side be empty while her husband's overflowed? how could she have gone through life and not accumulated friends? some 'friends' were simply her friends through association and when they no longer had that association, they left. some she had considered her closest friends but they didnt even consider her as part of their inner-circle. and those she considered her best friends would never reach out to her. any news she got would be given months after they had happened. parties would be thrown and the invites would be forgotten to send to her. people would say they got their friends in highschool but how was she to find friends when she was trying to find herself? in university no friends were obtained either as no one would speak to her except in regards to assignments and the workforce still yields nothing. she goes out with her colleagues for drinks but no one seems interested in being friends. they all have their own lives, their own friends. and so she sits on the counch, crying with no one to confort her.