break open

today i woke up

crying. i dreamed of you–

a goddess, religion, merchant of fate

an altar & i consecrate

kneeling like a sinful curse

until my knees bled from the golden debris

chiseled out of shattered dreams

& i couldn't breathe, my trachea overflowed

sacred stars. sacrifice before your smile

i no longer recognized myself

last night i fell asleep

bleeding. i thought of you–

the shadowed side of the moon

in a lighthouse attic, barefoot

dancing amongst the gospel of waves

and silhouettes of candlelight.

beneath the tower: i tumbled in waves

with the body of a sunken pirate ship

and the face of a lost bandit child

i slit my throat in denial that i'm drowning

tonight i am sober. but unbearably empty

the scars on my neck crawl like poison ivy

all over my defiled skin. throat split open

and it feels cold, it feels like coming home.

i sit next to the edge of life, numb

& watched as the river of stars

you had once kissed into my throat

return to the heavens–

where my longing for you belongs

silent, immaculate, and forever intense

- deathetix