Freedom as Far as the Footsteps Fall

First, the sensation of her head resting on her palm. Then, the softest whisper of a sleepy breeze lifting the light wisps of hair from her face. Next, a warmth across her cheek that made her still-closed eyes squint with a curious confusion. All of these sensations invited Lina to wake.

She sat up slowly, fluttered open her eyes and inhaled sharply with amazed wonder. The door to her small enclosed closet in which she sat inside was wide open, revealing a large window that was, too, open to the world beyond; a sight she’d never seen before. Reaching an arm out to the room beyond the closet, she found that there was no barrier between her and it. She stood in amazement and spotted the large oak door to The Bedroom swung wide open like the one to the closet. Without a second thought or question in mind, she flew through the doorway.

And she was free, free from the hell that had kept her closed in for years. There were no chains on the doors, no rules printed and plastered on the walls, nothing of the sort. Just open doors and windows, all inviting her to step out to the world. As she passed through hallways and rooms, making her way to the front door, a tugging sensation at the base of her head tingled in her mind, and she slowed. A recollection. A memory. Who was she supposed to be? Where was she supposed to be? Just as soon as it came it evaded her thoughts, and she shrugged it away, cheering joyfully and skipping out of the open front door and onto the sidewalk.

Lina twirled and danced through the unfamiliar sunlight she had never had the chance to feel before. The amber leaves below her feet crunched with every step, and smells unknown to her gathered her in their embraces, guiding her towards the small town down the street. She laughed and sang with the birds in the trees above as her legs carried her farther and farther away from the house.

The town was marvelous to Lina. The people, dressed in a beautiful array of clothes she’d never worn, all living their lives. She skipped amongst them, tracing the uneven cobblestones with her bare feet. She marveled at the street musicians as they became one with their instruments, the melodies they created lapping at her ears like warm ocean waves, waves that she;d never touched before.

After some time, Lina sat on a bench in the shade of a small tree of which she did not know the name and took a moment to watch the people go by. She smiled at couples walking hand in hand as they chatted with one another, often sharing fond glances. She admired the beautiful hat of one woman walking alone through the crowds, humming to herself and waving one hand gracefully as if conducting the beautiful harmony of the world beyond her fingertips. Then Lina lay her eyes on a joyful family of four: a mother, father and two young daughters. The eldest daughter was playfully twirling her sister's hair while the younger complained to their cheerful mother. Once again, that tugging sensation in Lina’s mind grasped her thoughts, and the foggy memory of a young girl swam into her consciousness. Lina tried to shake it away, to stay in this precious moment of the world she’d escaped to, but her recollections only clutched her tighter. The house, dark, dim, closed doors, shut windows. Muffled cries, follow the rules, follow them! Pain, a blow to the head, to the back, to the chest, to the leg, to the heart.

Lina looked down at her arms to see massive bruising, cuts gaping across her forearms and hands, raw skin, swollen.

Could never hide. Never scream. Sit straight. Take it like a champ. The pain won’t last. Just be good, and he won’t hurt you. He, him, Thomas. Thomas was his name. Be an example. For her. Her. Her name. What is it? Her name? Mari.

And she was snapped from the memories. From the blissful world she’d allowed to obscure her eyes, a world she had never experienced before this day and would never experience again. Mari, her sister. Her poor, poor little sister, still at the house. Left to Thomas, alone, to his rules, his regimen, his torment, his greed, his pleasure, him. Tears coated her cheeks, the cheeks that had earlier welcomed the sunlight, now guilty for soaking in its lulling nectar.

She rose from the bench and began to run up to the people on those uneven cobblestone streets, begging for help, for forgiveness, for anything. Not a single person stopped, or even took a glance in her direction. She shrieked to the sky, like a hatchling fallen from her mother’s nest, yet not a single person took notice. Lina grabbed one man’s arm, but he continued on his way without a word. Fear replaced her prior joy. She sobbed and began to run back to the house. The leaves below the soles of her feet scraped at her skin, the birds now screeched in a dissonant chorus. Her toes caught on a crack in the asphalt, and she stumbled to her already mutilated knees. With cries of terror, she rose to her feet and sprinted back to the house.

She followed the maze of rooms and hallways, all the while screaming one name, the name she had sworn to never forget. Mari. Her little sister did not come running to her, did not cry out. Lina wailed as she came to a halt in The Bedroom, and there she discovered her sister, knelt on the dirty floor alone. Lina approached her slowly and registered that the floorboards were soaked in thick blood.

“M-Mari?” Her voice wavered and broke with trepidation. Her sister did not respond. Lina advanced until she was just behind her sister. That was when she saw her.

The body lay in front of Mari, cold, pale, drained, dead. It was covered head to toe in bruises and cuts, and its head was caved in from a heavy blow. Its eyes were open, staring blankly up at the ceiling, the lips gently parted, revealing broken teeth. Lina fell to her knees in horror and wailed in dread. It was her, lying lifeless upon the cold ground, her own perished body. She was dead.

Her sister did not cry, did not yell, did nothing but stare with wide enlarged eyes, like a small bluebird being squeezed so hard the eyes were bursting from the head. Yet Mari did not take flight out of those open doors. She remained there, just watching with young eyes that aged too quickly while Lina, still screaming, faded to nothing. Away went her short lived life beyond The Bedroom, the hell she’d survived for so long. In the end, it couldn’t be real, for in the end, even she no longer was.