170 reads

Binary Thinking

*I went over the word count for this one, bad me! But it was an interesting Challenge anyway.

I always kinda thought female empowerment was stupid.

Women are built to stretch and hold an entire watermelon inside them then push it out magically wrapped in a little microbiome of love and infection-defending bacteria.

Women are built to respond to conflicts typically with a “fight” response (based on studies of protestors at least) because they are the last line of defense for their watermelons.

Women have no Y chromosome which makes their immune systems slightly stronger (hence I made all the COVID supply runs - I was the best zombie scout, obvs)

Women outlive men traditionally and in studies of household longevity hold up way better than the worse case alternative (which in studies was a single father - that poor bastard’s longevity tanked in comparison).

Women are supposedly innately good at having “omnivision” - whereby they’re constantly aware of their surroundings because that’s how you protect your watermelons from would be crushers.

Women bleed for a week and don’t die (I was told this joke was not funny by my partner, who hates blood).

Women get raped even in so-called developed America at rates averaging 1 in 6 but still get back up and keep fighting, even with “the list” of things they might then have to do to protect themselves in the real world.

Women pushed for prohibition when their menfolk were beating them - because they blamed the alcohol, not the men.

Prostitutes paid for schools and built whole frontier towns - because they had most of the money when the mines all panned out and used it to build their community. Those states refused to join the union unless their women were extended the right to vote.

Female scientists, authors, and artists, and more all contributed throughout history without forethought to their accolades or whether they might merit more than a footnote in the pages of time.

Women statistically do 2 hours more of housework per day than men, despite also holding 50% of the jobs in this country and still working/paying bills. Many women end up taking on more chores when they get a man, studies show. Some women have decided this means they shouldn’t get a man. Others are like, “Eh, but he’s cute.”

Women beat their female partners. Lesbian abuse is a thing, just like abuse in any other couple.

Women play rough, harsh contact sports. They often play many sports with more technical accumen and accuracy (according to the old sports heads at the hardware store) than their higher-paid male counterparts, who rely more on brute strength/size/speed or flashy moves that often skirt the rules when playing their highly covered games.

Women got away with wearing men’s clothes, ages ago. They stole high heels, wigs, frills, lace, all the fancy male fashion pieces. They still get to wear dresses too - only strong men like the kilt-wearing Celts or gorgeously fierce drag queens or Harry Stiles have managed this trick.

Women have mood swings just like men.

You can use estrogen almost exactly like testosterone for many of the same applications.

Honestly, the similarities are a bit uncanny really when I think about it. Women are scary, persistent soldiers of life. They bring you into the world, and they can take you out as my mama always said.

Versus men who I pity. Because I look at their statistics and all I see is sadness and co-dependency.

Men have a 1 in 4 suicide rate.

Men traditionally have been forced into war, drafted against their will, treated like dogs by abusive military trainers under the guise of “training” before being sent out to do horrific things for non-military minds that ultimately break their spirits/souls, or turn them into even worse dogs than their military trainers.

Men have shorter life expectancies and apparently cannot cope with being alone in a household. “Bachelor” pads are a thing, apparently, because men who stay single risk dying young and alone. Best to get a woman to do those extra 2 hours of housework to keep you alive.

Men have that pesky Y chromosome (which some bitchy girls apparently can also have, so they don’t even get that special gene to themselves) that means they’re doomed to lower immune efficiency. Even that Y chromosome has apparently been dwindling, as it used to have the same number of genes as the X chromosome but now apparently has fewer than 80 functional genes at a 3% fraction of what the X chromo does. Yet scientists are quick to point out the Y chromosome’s resiliency as well as the necessity of those few genes that have survived.

Men are selected/judged for strength, size, health, as well as the lack of other “weaknesses” such as flat feet, poor eyesight, and a plethora of other physical traits...before once again they’re then shipped off to die during their peak reproductive years in constant wars we glorify as the founding events of our history where true heroes are forged. Not sure if this has something to do with that loss of Y chromosome genetic diversity over the centuries but eh, what do I know. I’m a dumb pacifist who thinks war is stupid and serves only assholes.

Men work in factories and on shop floors, taking the dirty grunt jobs that require muscle and strong backs despite the fact that ostensibly machines (and women) could potentially do many of these jobs without sacrificing our poor menfolk - sort of like how we outsourced those housework chores with convenient appliances for women (yet they’re still spending 2 extra hours somehow everyday doing housework, so strange).

Men have incredibly strong, hard-to-tame sex drives which demand not just porn but full body sex dolls or escorts, because apparently some poor men cannot objectify women to a body part like a fleshlight or a dildo and need a whole body for “companionship”, as if this is something different than simple sex or imaginary sex that women rely on (possibly because of their fear of having to bear watermelons).

Men are not allowed to show emotion unless it’s anger. When they do show peaceful emotions, it takes incredible strength/courage/safe spaces to do so because they are never permitted to show weakness. Which might be why some men seek that “companionship” thing above.

--------------------------------------

Now.

This ENTIRE post is completely, totally, BULLSHIT.

You know why?

Because human sexuality/chromosomes are a SPECTRUM. People are not simply “male” or “female” they are actually a diverse range of chromosomal mixes that express nearly the same way with just a few pesky details, like that silly Y chromosome.

You can train a woman and a man just the same - however, on an INDIVIDUAL BASIS you may need to adapt moves to fit each PERSON’S different style/body shape, which vary widely across genders.

You can teach a woman and a man the same way - however, on an INDIVIDUAL BASIS people are neurodiverse and learn/communicate in different ways that often transcend base gender binaries.

You can love a woman or a man - it doesn't take much anatomy because honestly the only anatomy required to love somebody is a heart.

Again, there are NOT big differences here. Most of our gender stereotypes are complete and utter social constructs we make up in our heads and perpetuate in our hearts.

Which means, frankly, for me to be happy as a woman?

I stop thinking of myself as just a “woman”

And I start thinking of myself as a “person” instead.

...that said, I do kinda love men. I mean, that rare Y chromosome just calls to me, ya know? It’s like “Gasp - you’re still in the gene pool despite the ravages of time? Alright, soldier boy!”

However, had I been brought up differently, who’s to say? I was once taught sexuality wasn’t a choice. Which was a lucky thing to learn, frankly, because it meant I had a good excuse for not feeling any interest in the many fine, intelligent, way hotter ladies that used to hit on me all the time.

Silly Y chromosomes. Hope they hang in there. Me, I’m good. I like zombie scout duty.