dear younger me

Dear foolish, naive, me,

Listen up for once and stop that, it isn’t really helpful, and your mother DOES know! Save us a whole lot of pain and suffering. First of all, you are not as stupid, or as smart, as ugly or as pretty, as good or as evil, as your so called friends say. Ditch those friends and find new ones, immediately. RUN away from the one with the bottle! Just remember, the only one you can really trust...is you.

Avoid the cages, categories, and closets, the world will try to put you in, especially the closets. They will try to convince you it is safer there, but you will only be miserable, lonely, and eventually go mad. Stop ignoring the truth. It stands there staring you in the face waiting for you to acknowledge it.

Be kind to your mother, you’ll need her so many times and you’ll be the one who will need to be there when dad dies. Tolerate your dad’s stories and long answers. When his mind leaves him, you will cry with longing for the stories and any answer that makes sense.

Be prepared to cry often and deeply. Some of your pain will pass and some will only subside. If you embrace the lies of others to describe or restrict your life, the pain will only grow more intense and inescapable.

If at all possible avoid falling in love, but if you must - and believe me, you must - be honest with yourself so that you can be honest with them. I have to keep this clean, so all I’ll say about sex is that what you do, how often you do it, and who you do it with...does not define your entire life, but it can destroy you, so choose partners carefully. (By the way, apologize to the writer who posted this challenge when you sign up on this site.)

Dream. Then go out and make it a reality. Stop being petrified of failure and ridicule. Both will make you stronger, and in the end richer in every way.

Last and certainly not least, Love yourself, without shame. Reject shame, understand guilt, and accept it graciously when it applies. Ignore those who try to prescribe either for you. You are special, you are loved, and you must make the best of what time you have to be the very best You there is. For my sake, take this to heart, and save me.

I love you (at last),

Your future self.