She Be A Lady

Do you ever just hear luck? 

It’s intangible but there is this forsaken pull somewhere on the top of your head that tingles your spine. Thoughts of “what the fuck” and the adventure of “Let’s do something reckless” sputter in your mind like the Lady kissed you. 

It’s a contact high as you pass through her membrane. She caresses your decisions and unless you’re able to let her have her way then you will lose. You will hate her, blame her, despise her and never again enjoy that thrill of victory. Or failure.

The greater the risk the greater the reward. 

Some people walk away, they call it quits while they are a little ahead. But how do they know where they are? What if there is so much left to gain? 

I am touching Her right now. Luck. She is upon me in what some might consider the most minimal of regards. But I just made a less than 1% chance victory. On a whim. On a forgotten desire, suddenly remembered, perhaps an omen of her doing. 

In the past we had won the toss, but only had a couple bucks to tithe on the bet. I think it was to prove her point to me, to trust in her Graces, and the turning of them. So, she let us win the first time. Back when we were too chicken-shit to go all the way. We could have made money. 

Tonight $100 was all I had left. Tonight $3500 landed in my lap. With friends behind me staring at the inevitable loss because of a silly marble's teased landing. But I felt Pulled to chance that one lonely roulette table. At her whim. 

The bet had to be done. There was no choice other than doing it right then.

I owed her that much.

And she paid it off.

And my skin tingles at her touch as I write this down. 

She likes it, the spreading of her Word. This might inspire others to her cause- her fickle and petty cause. 

I am her lover. She favors me ever so slightly because I am a true believer at heart. I meander as all true believers do but when the dice crack together like ocean thunder and all is soaking in the murky tides of failure, I see Her. 

Laughing. 

I also laugh.