No more fear of the long dark night,
while using the bathroom with light off,
Learning to spend some time with the naked self,
the most tender part of the self,
the delicate and slow part of the self…
The World are doing their pushing, rushing and hustling…
I am just here sitting with the most vulnerable part of me in this eternal darkness…
feeling and sensing some loneliness,
and some soft meager voices.
I pleaded a license for myself,
one more chance to take a break,
to break free from this old life’s binds and shackles..
and get some ease and rest from the inside-out.
Everyone is working hard to prove something to the rest of the world,
but I just want to dive deeply
into this black bottomless peace,
to gather all the missing pieces
of my serrated fragmented
long lost soul.
No more struggling or fighting off,
the endless inner fear towards this long dark night;
No more running away from this abysmal depth of life
No more silencing towards the discomfort of this long time suppression,
No more living or reliving in the eternal dread
towards some hell’s-week-like bootcamp
Tonight, I dare letting my inner voice out…
to the almighty authorities,
both visible and invisible.
To the most intimidating ones who rule this very kingdom
of unbreakable societal system..
To those who casted such unshakable shackles upon me
I dare you to look right into my heart
I dare you to look upon the most vulnerable and tender part of myself…
the unadulterated and ulcerated inner wounds..
Which me and many weaker ones like me,
have been bearing,
for century long inwardly,
yet were being so ashamed,
and dare not even talking about…
No, no… no more being pushed away…
as secondary, as inferior
as lack of status to be heard,
or even to deserve a voice of my own.
I dare to the rotten root of very system
to look at the jagged line of this
century-long painful gash inside my heart…
They are mine, yet they were yours too…
They are the weights of shame and guilt,
that your almighty hands have been trying so hard to suppress, to hide, to walk pass
and yet eventually pressed down upon me.
No longer being silenced
Finally I am exposing this raw tenderness
Right in front of your eyes
Please look at it.
just be here with me for a moment…
It’s been century long…
it’s been ignored for too long..
Today I dare speaking out this most gentle soft voice
Directed to you
Everyone deserves to be heard and respected,
Every feeling deserves to be valued and validated…
No matter how small the voice is,
or how insignificant the life is,
to your authoritative eyes…
I dare letting all my unjustified helpless voices out
and I dare facing the consequences as well.
Let the stormy punches coming down at me harder and stronger
I am no longer shunning away...
I am here waiting right now,
with all my silenced inner wounds from the past,
with every single tender pieces of my raw existence,
that I have been gathering,
After you have trampled upon them repetitively, and tossed them around in different parts of the world,
throughout the years.
To you, me and many like me were just a joke,
Yet to me, that was the most beautiful and treasurable part of the soul,
more precious than any diamond in the whole world,
After life-time searching,
after being separated for so long,
from my tattered dignity
and fragmented soul…
The one being suppressed,
the one being trampled upon,
tossed, teased off in gazillion places..
I am here to take all my pieces back!
I challenge you,
I challenge your absolute power and biased cruel crooked system,
with my raw naked tender feeling,
and pure vulnerable authenticity,
with my everlasting tenacity
and impenetrable perseverance.
I will swim through all the long dark nights
in eons of time,
since darn of human civilization;
I will thwart through all layers of fire in the land of the dead;
I will scour deeply and thoroughly
through all mire death fields of my lineage of unavenged ancestry,
to gather every single one of my fragmented soul brothers and sisters back,
to confront you with your very crime.
I am bringing back
all our past silenced voices
to Confront you
with every severed missing soul fragments
and every single cut you have done upon each of our tender inner hearts
We are putting down our own two feet, standing stronger than ever.
with no more trembling fears,
Hearts, are not parts!