Not All Our Presidents Were Cowboys
One quote from each president while still in office, save one. Some were funny, some dumb as it gets, and others that may make you want to say. “Huh?”
I was tossed as to put this in the Comedy of Educational Portal since from this perspective it could be see as either or. The presidents are pretty much in no specifiv order. If I missed one or two, let me know but I think they are all here, right up to Biden.
Richard Nixon: ″I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.″
Theodore Roosevelt: “When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer ‘present’ or ’not guilty.”
Barack Obama: “I’ve been to all 57 states, and believe I have one more to go.”
George W. Bush: ″When I take action, I’m not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It’s going to be decisive.″
James Madison: “I always talk better lying down.”
Chester A. Arthur: “If it were not for the reporters, I would tell you the truth.”
Ronald Regan: “You know, it has been said that politics is the second oldest profession and I’ve come to realize over the last few years, it bears a great similarity to the first.”
George H.W. Bush: “For seven and a half years I’ve worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex...uh...setbacks.”
Harry S. Truman: ’My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference.″
George Washington: “This is surprising. I thought Chinese people were white.”
Thomas Jefferson: “I say free all the black slaves and send them back to Africa or wherever.”
John Adams: “That Washington was not a scholar is certain. That he is too illiterate, unlearned, unread for his station was equally past dispute.”
Millard Fillmore: “That was a joke so I don’t understand why you aren’t laughing.”
Andrew Johnson: “Don’t stop him; let the assassin shoot!”
Woodrow Wilson: “Birth of a Nation was a great film and the guys with the white hoods looked real to me.”
Rutherford B. Hayes”: “Some of my closest friends call me Rutherfrraud.”
Warren G. Harding: “being president had its upside.. I can have sex anywhere I want and don’t have to pay for it.”
William Henry Harrison: “I shall die a happy man.” (He died 32 days after taking the oath of office, so no one really knows if he was happy about that.)
James K.. Polk: “I will not be a president on Sunday. We can do that tomorrow.”
John Tyler: “What Even Is a Joke, Is It Like a Territory That Might Want Slavery?”
Martin Van Buren; ’I will do whatever it take to keep Texas from being a state.”
John Quincy Adams: On skinny-dipping - “Whatever danger there may be in the exercise – and that there is much danger, this incident offers melancholy and cumulative proof – there would be yet greater danger in abstaining from it, or in substituting any other effective exercise in its place.”
Herbert Hoover: “I have no fears for the future of our country. It is bright with hope.” Not long after he said this, the Great Depression set in.
Jimmy Carter: “I tell you that anyone who looks on a woman with lust in his heart has already committed adultery.”
Ulysses S. Grant: “My relatives will do a better job than I could at their posts. They don’t drink.”
Lyndon B. Johnson: ’I’ve had more women by accident than Kennedy ever had on purpose.”
Dwight David Eisenhower: On Richard Nixon contributions as his vice president: “If you give me a week, I might think of one. I don’t remember.”
Gerald Ford: “I know I will go to hell because I pardoned Richard Nixon.”
James Monroe: This anecdote regarding the humor of James Monroe appeared in the 1860s. It may be apocryphal, and/or just a bad pun.
A Scotch servant, employed about the executive mansion, who had a broad accent and a good fund of cold humor, had been charged, by certain persons who had projected a monument in honor of something or somebody, with a message to an appropriate official, who, it seems, was not the President. But old Sandy sought the Chief Magistrate, in whose personal service he was, and conveyed the communication to him. Mr. Monroe instructed him to address the message elsewhere, and thereupon Sandy, persisting like a Scotchman, said: ‘Your honor, it is about the monument.’
‘Well, Sandy,’ said Mr. Monroe, drawing himself up erect and symmetrical, ’don’t you see I am not the mon you ment.
John F. Kennedy: “Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.”
Zachary Taylor: I have always done my duty. I am ready to die. My only regret is for the friends I leave behind me.” He died shortly after from ingestion from ice-cream. It was later thought by researchers he was allergic to by-products of milk substances.
James Buchanan: This was said after his presidency--“I am now ‘solitary and alone,’ having no companion in the house with me. I have gone a wooing several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any one of them.” He never married.
William McKinley: “Boys, don’t let them hurt him!” He said this as a crowd of people started beating on Leon Czolgosz, the man who shot him twice in the chest and McKinley later died.
William Taft: “I eat to live, and live to eat.” Supposedly, he was found dead, stuck in his bathtub
Calvin Coolidge: “I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm.”
James Garfield: On July 2, 1881, James Garfield was shot by a deranged individual named Charles Guiteau. Evidently, Garfield possessed incredible willpower, and the president survived until September 19th before succumbing to blood poisoning. In great pain, Garfield asked his doctor, “Oh, Dr. Swaim, can’t you stop this?” Garfield died moments later.
Donald Trump: “Nobody has better respect for intelligence than Donald Trump.”
Joe Biden: During a 2008 campaign rally, Biden said: “Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: Jobs. J-O-B-S.”