I_CANT_DO_THIS_ANYMORE, (a series of messages/thoughts that are commonplace for me)

“how are you?”

how…am i? well uh….

I cant fucking do this anymore. I’m so tired. I’m trying so hard.-

no… i can’t say that…

It feels like the meds aren’t working anymore and i don’t know how to tell you.-

no.. that’s going to make them worry..

why am i not happy anymore? i can feel it creeping back into my lungs and i’m so afraid.-

maybe I just shouldn’t say anything.

please help me.

no that’s stupid.

I never feel good enough for myself. im a disappointment to everyone who ever believed in me.-

screw it i’ll just keep things casual i guess, they probably don’t care anyways.

“I’m doing fine! you?”