Chapter Three

“What if you find your soulmate... at the wrong time?”

-Lauren Kate, Passion 

...

Gia stayed silent for a long moment, unsure of how to process Leon’s words. 

In the middle of this, Kylee stopped by their table to put down the check and take their empty plates. 

“Gia?” Leon questioned, breaking their silence. 

She chanced a look into his eyes and saw the regret there. He must have been thinking that he spoke too soon, that she was put off by his words, and yes a part of her was. 

But a stronger part of her wasn’t. 

And that had her thinking about the past few months of her life. All the research and medication and emotional trauma. Gia didn’t know if she could open herself to someone again. Leon almost seemed too good to be true. The fact that he was human, that he had made mistakes, that he was a father and the way he spoke about his son, with love and reverence, only added to that feeling. 

“Have I done it again?” He asked. 

Gia blinked away her thoughts and looked at the man in front of her. He really was gorgeous. And for some reason, he wanted her. 

Her. 

He’d felt a connection with her. 

Her. 

She realized what he was asking. “No, no. I’m just...processing. Did you really mean that?” 

“Of course. I meant it when I said I would always tell you the truth.” 

“I believe you. It’s just...Leon, there is something about me that I feel I should tell you. When you find out, you will probably change your mind about me. You’ll realize that, well, I’m really not worth the trouble.” 

“I find that hard to believe.” 

Believe it, she wanted to say, but she didn’t have the confidence to. 

Because something in her didn’t believe it either. 

She was a mixture of feelings. Good and bad battling it out inside of her. As much as she hated it, bad was winning at the moment. 

Looking for a way to switch topics-something she had been succeeding at all night, Gia grabbed the check, knowing it would distract a man like Leon; a gentleman. 

“I can split-” 

“Don’t even think about it.” 

He took the bill, gently, it should be noted, and slid a card from his wallet into the pocket. He set the folder down in the corner of the table. Within seconds, Kylee had it and whisked away to take care of it. 

“Thank you.” 

“It’s been my pleasure.” 

“Listen, Gia, please,” He began. “I’d like to take you somewhere after this. I don’t want this night to end yet. Unless you are ready to end it?” 

The good side won for this part. “I’m not ready.” 

“I’m happy to hear that. You see, I would like a better chance to talk to you about what I said, and to learn more about you. I realize that I said it strong. I apologize for that. I haven’t been on a date in years. I’m afraid it’s showing.” 

“It’s not actually,” Gia assured him, her own nerves beginning to settle once again. “Quite the opposite. You’ve been wonderful, very honest. I like that, more than you know. I want to know more about you, and your son, too, if that’s okay.” 

“It’s perfect.” He said with a breathtaking smile as Kylee returned with his card and the receipt. 

He was up before Gia could blink and behind her chair, helping her out of it. He put out his hand, a silent invitation for her to take it. 

Heart trembling, she placed her silky palm in his, feeling the rough texture of a working man’s hands, and let him lead her across the restaurant. 

They entered the warm night, still hand in hand. Gia could smell the saltiness of the ocean from where they stood. It was close, only a few blocks away. 

“Are you up for a bit of a walk?” Leon asked her, giving her hand a slight squeeze. 

Gia had a feeling they were going there. She was up for it, alright; she loved the beach. 

“I can walk; I’m not wearing heels,” she breathed a laugh as his eyes went to her feet. If he wanted the type of woman that wore heels, it didn’t show on his face. 

If his words that kept ringing in her mind were truthful, he really wouldn’t mind her not wearing heels for him at all. He was much taller than her. If he were to bend to kiss her, it would be a good ways. 

Gia blushed at the thought of kissing him. She couldn’t imagine that his lips would be any less soft than how she envisioned them feeling. 

“I don’t think heels would suit you.” He said, pulling her from her thoughts of his mouth. 

She didn’t realize that she was staring at his lips until they pulled into a small smile. Her eyes snapped back to his, finding a smolder. 

“Is that a bad thing?” She asked, her voice conveying the arousal she felt in her whole body. 

“No.” 

The word was simple, but complete with the same desire as hers. 

She still couldn’t believe the way this man had been looking at her. Watching her. 

Together, they walked in the direction of the beach. 

The city was always crowded and busling, no matter what time or day of the week it was. The saying, ‘the city never sleeps’ was as real as it got in Miami. The streets were busy, alight with bodies and signs for various stores and restaurants. Scents mingled from the street food and angling bodies, some good, some bad, and some questionable. People were shouting obscenities and laughing amongst themselves without a care for who was watching. A drunk woman stumbled into a tattoo shop just ahead of them, laughing and exclaiming that she was going to get her nipples pierced so her boyfriend would love her again. Gia couldn’t help but giggle, though she felt bad for the desperate sounding girl. Leon looked down at her, his hand still holding onto hers, and laughed along with her. 

“I guess you never know what you’re going to get in the city, huh?” 

“Nope. But that’s what I like about it; there’s a sea of diversity, and it all blends together in this one place, on every corner, on every night.” 

“Do you like to cruise the city, Gia?” 

She felt her cheeks heating once more. “I’m not. The opposite, really. I can’t lie, the same reasons I love the city are the same reasons it gives me anxiety. I don’t frequent out much. I’d rather stay at home with a good book over getting drunk at a bar or dancing at a club any day.” 

He appeared to be considering her words, going by his nod. 

Gia felt herself needing to explain. “I told you I’m boring. That wasn’t a lie.” 

“There isn’t anything wrong with liking your privacy.” 

“It just seems that society wants us to think that we have to be outgoing creatures, constantly on the move, partying and hanging out with friends, living life to the fullest because if we don’t we’re wasting it away. I don’t have many friends. I don’t go out. I prefer small quaint spaces over big crowded shopping malls.” 

“That doesn’t make you boring, Gia.”

Gia didn’t agree, but she kept that to herself. 

“Do you like the beach?” He asked. 

“I love it.” 

“Me too. It gives me time to think. I enjoy being on the water. It’s one of my favorite things to do with my son.” 

“Does he like it?” 

“He can’t swim yet, so he prefers to be out on the boat with me more than anything. I like to put a hat on him and let him steer.” 

Gia’s eyes widened and a smile threatened to pull at her lips at the thought of a mini version of Leon tiptoeing over the curve of a boat wheel, the imaginary hat consuming his hair and forehead. “You let him steer all by hisself?” 

“No,” he admitted with a reverent smile. “but I let him think he does.” 

“That’s sweet.” 

“It is until I let my guard down and he turns too sharp. Boy, I’ve nearly gone overboard a dozen times.” 

“But you think it was worth it, huh?” 

“I do.” His eyes shone at her, that mocha drizzle making her heart pound even harder. 

They reached the beach soon after, which forced them to break their intensifying eye contact. It seemed like the tension between them kept building with every connect of their eyes. It gave Gia a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. 

The fluttered like eyelashes in high wind. 

Leon and Gia passed only a couple of people on their way down to the shore. Before they could descend the wooden steps provided, Gia paused and bent down to remove her flats. 

Watching her, Leon did the same with his loafers, slipping his socks off as well. 

“I may love the beach, but the sand can be ridiculous at times.” He said. 

Gia’s toes curled around said sand. “I agree. When I was younger and my mother would take my sister and I to Jax beach, I would always get sand in my little bathing suit bottoms. I would let my sister bury me in the sand and that just made it all the more worse.” 

In the darkness that was illuminated by the convenient full moon, Leon appeared to be imagining that scenario. “I don’t suppose you would let me bury you in the sand?” 

They laughed together at the thought. 

“Um, I don’t think so,” Gia replied. “Did you miss the part where I said I agree?” 

“I thought I would ask anyway. Opinions change over time, you know.” 

Gia’s laughter died down with that sentence. 

The words rang true to her, and she wondered if that would be the case with Leon when pertaining to her. When he found out, that is. 

At this point, it felt like the time was approaching for her to tell him.  

Dread filled the space where the butterflies were. 

“Come on,” Leon said, sensing the damper that put on her lifted mood. He grabbed her hand once again and they descended the steps together. 

Gia felt her bad side tamper down as soon as the scent of the ocean hit her nostrils. The sound of the waves crashing along the beach was like a song she never wanted to stop hearing. The light from the moon cast an alluring glow on the surface of the ocean, creating a romantic light over the cresting waves. 

“It’s so beautiful.” She whispered into the quieted air. 

Leon watched her as he replied, “Yes it is.” 

Gia was glad that the night provided enough low light that he couldn’t see her returning blush. 

He was talking about her. 

Me, she thought. 

It was still hard for her to grasp that he felt this way about her. 

I’m just me, she thought. What’s so special about little old me? 

Leon knew the answer. He had been prepared to tell her, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear it yet. 

The compliments felt good, more than good actually, but that good and bad battle kept trying to rise in her. The feelings of the past seven months was difficult for her to stray away from. 

But tonight, she felt herself wanting to. 

She felt this undeniable urge to listen to what Leon said, to heed it close to her heart and whisper them back to herself when this was all over. 

Leon’s hand tightened slightly around hers. It broke her out of her thoughts. 

She looked back at him. 

“I want to-” His words were hoarse and he stopped them to clear his throat. “I want to...” 

The hanger dangled like a hook. 

Gia felt the desire to finish the sentence for him. They stepped closer to each other, his hand pulling hers with his. 

Kiss me. 

The words were left unspoken but were still heard. 

Her body began to slowly tremble, a not so subtle tremble that racked her insides with excited nerves. 

Something stopped her, though. 

Fear, probably. 

Those insecurities were at it again, making her doubt her abilities. Why would she want to put herself through this anyway? She knew kissing Leon would feel heart wrenchingly exquisite. Those soft lips pressed against hers, tongue caressing and feeling along hers. 

Oh, yes, it would be an earth shattering experience. 

At what cost though? 

Could Leon really mean the words he was saying? Could he really want to settle with someone like her? Someone with her problems? 

Gia stepped back, her hand dropping from his. 

“Do you need more reassurances, Gia?” His deeply affected voice asked. That octave of thickness was back in the mix of his accent. 

Her lip wanted to tremble. “No, no. I’m sorry. I’m just...” Taking a slow deep breath, she continued. “having trouble processing all of this. It’s wonderful, please don’t doubt that, but I have fears. Terribly scary fears. My present has been dictated by my past for a while now. Being here with you has made me want to leave that behind me. It’s scaring me is all.” 

“Would you like to talk about it?” 

Fear still gripped her. She didn’t want the timer to go off just yet. She needed more time, more of him and this precious night. 

She really was a ball of conflictions, wasn’t she? 

“Can we walk instead?” She inquired. “I need to build my courage.” 

“Sure thing.” He said softly, intimately, like she was his girlfriend and he was talking her off of a ledge. 

An emotional ledge, maybe. 

Gia walked to the edge of the water and let the salty liquid run over her feet. There was a slight sting on the tops of her ankles from where she shaved earlier that day. Salt water and freshly shaven legs were not a healthy mix, Gia remembered, a little too late. 

Leon joined her and they set off down the shore in silence. 

He did grab her hand again, and it felt just as good each time, maybe even more. 

Their arms brushed continuously as they walked, the water sloshing around their feet below with each step taken. 

Listening to the soft sounds, Gia was calming again. Her panic diluted in her veins until it was a dull throb that was far more manageable at this level. 

“I think you’re wonderful, Gia.” Leon told her, voice admiring. “I can’t tell you why I feel this way. Like I’ve been saying, something about you is drawing me nearer. I have this overwhelming urge to scoop you in my arms and spin you around until we’re both dizzy. I want...” 

Swallowing, Gia dared to ask. “You want to what?” 

“I want to make love to you.” 

A gasp left her parted lips the instant he said those irretractable words. It wasn’t a gasp of dismay. The way her body quickly reacted alarmed Gia. Her skin felt alive with buzzing nerves. Suddenly the place where their hands connected was singeing her in the most enjoyable way. 

“Am I being too forward? I should know better. My grandmother taught me better manners than that, but the words, well, I couldn’t keep them in any longer.” 

“No, no. I wasn’t prepared for them, but that doesn’t mean they’re unwelcome.”

In the darkness, she saw him bite his bottom lip. They didn’t stop walking, but the tension between them increased tenfold.

He brought their conjoined hands to his chest, where she could feel the tightness of the muscles there and the quick, quick pump of his heart. 

Her lips parted and she sighed contentedly. She couldn’t help but treasure this moment, locking it away in her storage of fond memories. 

Only, this was right now in the present and currently happening. 

Thud thump. 

Thud thump. 

“May I continue to talk about what I said earlier?” 

“Which part?” Gia asked timidly, swallowing against the nerves. 

“The marriage part.”

“Okay.” The timidness wasn’t gone. 

“Recovering in AA has taught me a lot about myself. As I worked through my grief, I learned that what I really want is to have a family. I was lost for a really long time, and I’m ready to be found. I haven’t met anyone where I felt that sense of belonging that comes with a family, except with my son and grandma. Tyler has filled a lot inside of me, but the hole that’s there waiting to be filled is for a woman.” 

“You think that woman is me?” 

“I think you could be.” 

Something occurred to Gia then that outweighed her trepidation. 

“Did you ever have those type of feelings for your son’s mother?” 

Leon’s eyes met hers and she saw the genuine shock there. Gia got the impression that it wasn’t something he had ever considered before, which was surprising to her. 

“I never entertained the thought,” he told her honestly, confirming her thoughts. “We were a one night stand and by the time I found out she was pregnant, my grandfather had already passed. I went on a downward spiral. In that time, she found someone, and he’s a good man. He treats Tyler right, and he was supportive of me getting to know my son.” 

“No lines were ever crossed?” 

“I think he had reluctance at first, but I have a right to know my son and I think he understood that, man to man. We aren’t friends, but we both love Tyler and that’s enough for me.” 

“That worked out well. Not many people are like that.” 

“I’d like to ask...why do you not keep in contact with your father?” 

Gia felt a long time standing floodgate open. “It has never been by choice, at least not when I was a kid. He was always in and out of my life since he and my mom divorced when I was two. One of us would contact the other once or twice a year, and I’d go visit him, but then he would just stop calling. It was like he fell off the face of the earth. Last time he did that to me, I was fifteen and was so used to it that I didn’t care anymore. I sent him a letter when I was eighteen and gave him my number, but he’s made no effort to call me. I finally saw with absolute clarity where I stand in his life. I haven’t contacted him since and he hasn’t reached out to me at all.” 

“I’m sorry. I never knew my father, but I don’t know how I would have handled that uncertainty in my life. Growing up wasn’t difficult for me. My problems didn’t begin for me until my early twenties.” 

Gia was feeling more open than she had in a long time. And she found herself wanting to share more. “Can I be honest about something?” 

“I would hope for nothing less.” Leon assured her. 

“I’m so numb to the situation with my father that I don’t know whether or not I would be sad if he died. I have no feelings toward him; I just don’t care anymore. I don’t know if I would even cry, if I would mourn him at all, because I have no emotional attachments to him.” 

Realizing how heartless that made her sound, Gia withdrew her hand from his and looked out at the sea. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I must sound so heartless, considering I do have a parent.” 

Leon’s warm fingers came to the side of her head and wiped a frazzled lock of her hair out of the way. “That didn’t sound heartless to me. I think the opposite right now. I think it’s his loss that he chose to leave you like that for so many years with lingering uncertainty. It’s unfair for a young girl to go through that.” 

It was, but Gia remained silent. She was done venting about that, but she did want to add something. 

“Even though I feel indifferent to him now, what he did still affected me. I have fears that a man won’t stick around for me. That I’m not enough. After the year that I’ve had, those feelings only seem to be worse now, especially because keeping a guy may not be an option at all for me.” 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“I mean, well... it’s hard for me to say it. I’ve never said it out loud; I barely let myself think it. I know it’s real, and I’ve been trying to deal with it, but it’s been hard for me. I’ve had to go through this alone. I haven’t even told my mom or sister yet.” 

Leon lowered his hand to her cheek and rubbed it gently. Shocking tingles drifted through her skin. “What if I told you that you didn’t have to go through it alone anymore?”