Altruism

Selflessness is a delightful idea, a quality capable of transforming the world to a better place, but it’s impossible to obtain. No matter how much a person might sacrifice for the benefit of another, no act can be completley selfless. Take for example, a situation where a young man helps an older woman carry groceries across a busy street. The young man is already late for a meeting, exhausted, devastated by a recent break up, and wary of walking in heavy traffic, but helps anyways. On the surface, the act has a resemeblence to altruism; the older woman reaps the benefits of the interaction, while the man seemingly gains nothing. He didn’t receive a tip, given a thanks, or enter the beginning stages of a new friendship; he assisted and went on about his day. The older woman gained relief in a dicey situation and received assistance without any sacrifice.

However, the man and the act, is not altruistic or selfless. On a concious level, the man could be motivated for a variety of reasons. Perhaps he’s seen an accident in a similar situation, therefore he’s fearful of the potential outcome if he fails to assist. He remembers the intruding image of the previous accident, an image lingering in his mind to this day.

Or perhaps he’s never seen such an accident, but knows he’ll feel a miniscule sense of guilt in his gut if he just watches. The assistance he provides prevents that feeling from coming to fruition.

Maybe the man doesn’t acknowledge or have the capacity to feel guilt for a lack of inaction, but he knows what makes him feel good; helping others. He knows small sacrifices, like walking the older woman across the street, makes him feel positive emotions. Whether that be a feeling of importance, security, kindness, or just happiness, he benefits in some form.

Now, the motivation to assist others while sacrificing in some form solely for the purpose of positive feelings is admirable, but not selfless. The man may truly enjoy helping others, but the question becomes, why is it enjoyable to help others? Why is it important that another person is more comfortable or safe? The answer lies in the man’s past experiences and current state of mind.

It could be his recent break up has striped him with a sense of vulnerability, a vulnerabilty he sees, and can alleviate, in the older woman. It could be a subconcious awareness of the possibility to use the selfless act as a valid, worthy excuse for his boss when he arrives late. It could be a subconcious realization, based on past experiences with exhaustion, that acts of giving provide him energy. Or perhaps it could be he’s tired of not-so-irrationally fearing heavy traffic, spurring himself to action in the name of self-improvement.

Even if the man fails to recognize all of the above and is absolutely unaware of his emotions and motivations, the nurture of his life remains. The man has lived a life full of positive/negative reinforcement, punishment, observation, emotions, and teaching that led him to make his small sacrifice.

For a truly selfless act to occur, the giver must be free of past experience, ignorant of any pros and cons, and unable to gauge future feelings and consequences; all of which are impossible.

While altruism is a noble concept, a proof a person can be good, even better is the act of recognizing motivators. Recognize sacrificing for others is beneficial to yourself, and don’t feel guilty about why or that it exists, use it to sacrifice more often.