Blood Sweat and Tears

there are so many

messy topics

I have to leave

left unsaid

like that I’ve written

suicide notes

and considered

how much rope

would hold my weight

topics that might shock

horrify and alienate

people I’ve met

in groups and hospitals

outpatient and inpatient

electrocuted with shock treatment

scars up and down their arms

some with only tears to show

crying and lifeless though they

are still breathing and sitting

in cold metal folding chairs

my audience

scares me

what they’d do

if they knew

the real me

I think of Sylvia Plath’s

diaries

how we know her to the bone

how unafraid she was

how heroic

brilliant and honed

I need to push past

the shame

write what I am

even if my audience

won’t think of me

the same