Chapter Three

Doctor Eaton's waiting room is warm and cozy. There's a leather couch in the corner. The cushions are cracked and peeling, revealing the soft, yellow insides. I plop down on it, and settle in. It smells like home. Next to the couch, there's a bookshelf that's full of thick textbooks. I pull out the one I always read. It's a old copy of Gray's Anatomy. I know it's outdated, but I don't really care. It's fascinating, and it never fails to amaze me every time I read it. Sometimes when Minnie isn't home, I like to look at myself in the mirror, trace the muscles and bones in my face, and whisper them to myself. I roll up my sleeves and trace the muscles in my arm, naming the muscles and bones there, too. 

I know that book forwards and back. It's the one thing that makes sense to me. I just wish it had a chapter on the mental side of things, specifically how daughters work. Minnie doesn't seem to like me all that much anymore. The door to Doctor Eaton's office opens. She's an old lady now. She's short and round, and she wears colorful tunics that are covered with patterns, like polka dots, stripes and plaid. Today's she's wearing a light yellow dress with a soft beige cardigan on top. A smile is on her round face. 

"Hello, Adam." She sounds sweet, like she always does. But something seems off.

"Hello, Doctor Eaton." I reply, returning her smile. I walk into her office, and make myself comfy in her easy chair. The fabric that its covered in seems scratchy when you look at it, but it's not. It's a nice surprise, really. And I don't like surprises. Doctor Eaton settles in the swivel chair by her desk, and turns to face me. Her chubby legs swing out in front of her as she stops in front of me. She pushes her thick-lensed glasses up her nose and taps her pen against the yellow pad in her lap. "How were things this week, Adam?"

"Good." I say. "I went to the library the day after I saw you. I got a few anatomy textbooks. There were some kids that were being loud in the computer area, so I headed to the diner to get my reading done. Denny always has pancakes for me. I think he's trying to get me to like me better since he's Minnie's boyfriend. I still don't like him, though." My gaze shifts to a giant photo on her wall, it's of Machu Picchu. 

"And why don't you like him?' Doctor Eaton asks. 

"He's not all that smart, and he's always kissing her. He can't keep his hands to himself." 

"Well, that's how young love works. Remember how you and Wendy were?"

"Yeah, except I wasn't a meathead." I retort. I cross my arms over my chest. My back goes rigid. 

Dr. Eaton's coral-colored lips spread even wider as she laughed. I smile, too.

"Oh, Adam. Of course you weren't. You've grown into a fine young man." My gaze floats back over to her, but not her face. It's her forehead. It's quite wrinkly now. Her eyebrows knit together into one fluffy line. 

"That's why I'm sorry to tell you I'm retiring." 

"What?" My gaze snaps to meet her watery blue eyes that are ringed with the frames of her wide, round glasses. "Why? You're not dying, I don't think. But you're old-older, I mean. Like me. I'm thirty-three now. Minnie is eighteen." 

Doctor Eaton's smile becomes small, but it doesn't go away. "I've watched you grow, Adam, along with all of my other patients. But I've decided, and it wasn't an easy decision to make, that I have to start focusing on my husband, my children, and my grandchildren, of course." 

I didn't understand for a moment. Doctor Eaton went home every single night to her husband, children, and grandchildren. She drives there in her little yellow Volkswagen, with the dreamcatcher that hangs from her rearview mirror. I have to use my masking techniques. I nod. 

"I get it. Family, kids..they come first." I know how weak my voice sounds. "So, who's going to take your place? Or am I going to have to go..to the hospital?" I feel myself flinch. My hands curl up into fists. My breathing gets a little quicker. 

I hate the hospital. I hate it, hate it. They didn't understand how people on the spectrum work, and chances are they still don't because the people there don't want to understand people like me. 

Doctor Eaton sets her soft, pudgy hand on mine. Her fingers are painted a soft shade of red, one that almost matches the color of my sweater. "You're going to meet someone new. He's my nephew. He just finished his undergrad in psychology at Brandeis, and seemed to show interest in taking you on as a patient." 

A pool of questions seep into my brain. The rest of our session is a back and forth of questions about her nephew. I learn his name is Knox Eaton, which I think is a funny name, but I don't laugh at it. I learn he's fond of looking formal for every occasion, and his favorite color is blue, or maybe red. Doctor Eaton can't remember. He's tall, abnormally tall, and he wears round glasses, like his aunt. He likes Indian food. We don't have a lot of that here in Leester, but I can respect someone who has a refined palette. I like soft, mushy things. Like pears, and oatmeal with brown sugar on top. 

Our session closes with the soft buzzing of her smartphone alarm. She stands, and smooths out the front of her dress. She looks at me again and holds her arms out for a hug. I usually don't like hugs, not even ones from Minnie, or my dad. But when I feel Doctor Eaton's arms wrap around me, I feel some sort of comfort. a warm glow starts up in my belly, and it stays in there when I walk out to the sidewalk in front of the clinic. My daughter is sitting in the drivers' seat of Denny's truck - specifically, in his lap. The truck shaking because of the bass that's blaring from the inside speakers. She's changed out of her sweater- she's wearing a light pink sundress with straps that have slipped down her shoulders. Denny's got one hand in her hair, fingers working their way through her short, cropped locks. He's got the other on her thigh. Minnie doesn't seem to mind. She just keeps on kissing his thick neck. 

I remember the five dollars in my pocket Minnie gave me. I take it out and crumple it it in my fist. I head over to the truck, which is still rattling about. I knock on the window. It gets Minnie's attention. Her hair sticks up. Her lipstick is smudged around her lips. She tries to pull up on her dress strap as she reaches for the button that lowers down her window. It rolls down, and I get a clear look at her face without the glass in front of it. Her cheeks are red.

I hope it's from embarrassment. 

"Daddy, I'm-- how was your session with Doctor Eaton?" Her voice is shaky. Denny sits up in his seat and runs a hand through his stringy red hair. His squared face is completely pink, right up to the tips of his ears. I give him my best stern look. He raises his brows in confusion. I thrust Minnie's five dollars at her. 

"I'd rather walk." I say. My voice is sharp. I can tell it surprises Minnie. Her eyes go wide. 

I turn away before she can say anything else.