Protractor 2.0-

A protractor helps you see angles. A protractor 2.0, on the other hand, helps you see angels.

20 years ago, Dr. Marylin L. Boundsworth created this device in her garage. Here is her story-

Marylin kept glancing at the red polaroid camera- looking device in her lap, which probably wasn't safe considering that she was driving. Driving to her local church, to be precise. To test out her newest invention, to be even more precise. You see, Marylin had already been working for a few months on her angel-seeker, as she called it at the time, (the device's name was officially changed in 3021 for no particular reason) but she hadn't gotten a chance to test it out at a church yet. Or at all. She hadn't actually seen an angle yet, but she was a fairly optimistic person. And she started to regret this test as soon as she pulled into the church's gravelly parking lot. It had started pouring.

"Always such gloomy weather..." she mumbled as she reluctantly got out of her car, holding the machine close to her chest. "Gloomy and cold..." she sighed as she strode over the cracked asphalt to the building.

And this accursed asphalt was what caused her to trip and black out and wake up in a hospital staring into a medical light that seemed brighter than the sun. After a millisecond though, she realized it wasn't a medical light... It was the shining of angel wings! Or not. She didn't know. But what she did know was that her angel-seeker was probably more busted than her head (which felt like it was splitting open at the moment, and the doctors talking at her didn't make it any better).

And that's what blocked everything else out a second later. The doctors. Marylin froze- though she was already still (being subject to a muscle relaxant for the operation), so she just became more frozen I guess. But she was frozen in terror now. Frozen because it was grotesque twisted faces staring at her. Or maybe- frozen in awe. The angel- seeker had worked. Kinda. Not how she was expecting... but these were the angels from old. The angels as written in the Bible. The angels that needed a warning label. The 'Do not be afraid...' angels.

When she could make out words, the first thing Marylin said was "we need to upgrade our holiday ornaments to be more accurate..." and that is how she became inventor of the Protractor 2.0 and an angel advocate. The end.