last week the fire alarm went off

everyone filed out of their classrooms

but my teacher told us to wait

until the intercom buzzed and

explicitly

told us there was a fire

he didn't say why

but we all knew.

yesterday we had a lockdown drill

the alarm blared and they told us to

lock the door

stack the desks

pile on the chairs

hide under the remaining tables

away from the windows

always away from the windows

make sure they don't know where you are

my teacher never told us who

they are

but we all knew.

yesterday my english teacher apologized to us

not in so many words

that she was sorry we were inheriting

such a shitty world.

a shitty world where we have to practice

barricading ourselves in the classrooms to hide from shooters

where we can't walk out the door if the alarm goes of until we're totally sure

said shooter isn't roaming the halls

where we never talk about it outright but

we all know.

tomorrow it's going to be the same

the next time i hear about a shooting my stomach will churn

but there'll be that slight twinge of relief

one more time it wasn't my school

one more time i'm safe.

the day after that

the week after

the months

years after

we'll keep hearing about those shootings.

we'll hear about those high schoolers

middle schoolers

those innocent, wide-eyed

kindergarteners

with their whole lives ahead of them

gone.

and every time we do

the shock might feel less real

the gut-wrenching feeling of imagining the family's pain

might subside even quicker

because whether we see it or not

we're becoming numb.

whether it's practicing how to hide under desks

or reading about the four-hour lockdown in the next county over

it's less and less surprising to us because it's so...

normal.

today is the day we have to do something

to change this scary level of normal

before tomorrow becomes the nightmare

we're so relieved to avoid.

our inheritance of a shitty world

can become the gift of a

safe world

to the next generation

and the generation after that.

it shouldn't be about dodging the bullet this time

but making sure that nobody else

ever has to.