The Nightwood Apartment Complex

Note 002

So, the whole U̴sho̴̼͔͙͐͝u̵kelbh debacle really interrupted our lessons, huh? That kind of thing happens though, life aint ever a neat n' clean thing. Today, I will be teachin' you about the regular ol' parasites that you'll have to deal with around here. Hopefully, lord willin' and the crick don't rise, you wont be dealin' with amorphous entities that embody the great hunger of the universe on a daily basis.

I've mentioned 'em before, way back I think in one of my first notes, but the most common infestations we get around here are Jabbers. Weird lil' man frog things that feed off the specific band of energy, that what most people call 'magic', gives off. It's good then, to be aware of which tenant's give off this kind of energy.

Dont' worry about rememberin' every single magical tenant, you're brain would probably melt if ya did. But just be aware whenever someone new signs up if they feel quiet powerful.

If you haven't had many dealin's with magical folk, you can usual tell because the air around 'em is electrical in a way, and you can usually taste burnt caramel when you're around 'em. The taste and static feelin' get stronger dependin' on how strong they are.

Anyway.

Jabbers.

Little bastards will burrow into the walls near the magical tenant and go into a hibernation like state to feed. They eat their way into the wall, they don't actually eat the cement and the drywall but whatever timey space stuff that keeps this place together and then they crawl into the hole. Sometimes I've found more than one of 'em in a single hole, the most I've found is seven. It was a damned sight seenin' all their legs and arms bent at all those awful angles and just stuffed into this hole no bigger than my head.

Now, as I said, they don't actually eat the cement itself, so there isn't actually a physical hole to make this whole thing easier, no, there are two true tried and tested ways to tell if you've got a Jabber infestation on your hands.

Number 1: the smell.

My god, the smell. Its like a month old fish had a romantic encounter with baby vomit over rotten eggs that were smothered with putrid meat and topped by sulfur. It is foul, believe me, unless you're nose blind, you wont be able to miss it.

Number 2: the pus.

Jabber's are covered in boils. These boils, while they sleep, will grow depending on how fast they're eatin' and when they get full the boil's all burst at once. Don't ask me why, i dont get paid enough for that. This putrid, yellow liquid then oozes between the dimensional walls and leaks into our dimension. The wall below the entrance to their little dimensional den will be slathered with it, and unfortunately this is a late stage symptom of Jabbers, so at this point you'll be dealin with a few of 'em, probably in a dozen different holes too.

Now, the removal.

Unfortunately you will have to get the sledgehammer out for this. Or fortunately, depending on how much you like hittin stuff. Me? I like it a lot. You gotta take the sledgehammer and make a hole just above the pus, or if you're goin by smell, where the wall smells the worst. In my experiences it only takes two or three hits to get to the point where you can start to see em.

Now, unless you want to deal with several angry and awake Jabbers, you put the sledgehammer down at this point and you pick up your trusty ol' Jabber-a-way gas you can get from The Broken Barrel. Insert the tube either into the Jabber itself or into its space and then just turn it on. The canister will automatically empty, and you'd best believe you'd better cover your mouth and nose, or better yet, wear a mask for this part.

I made the mistake of breathin it in for a few years and my lung's aint ever been the same.

Once the Jabber's are dead, you can pull 'em out of the walls and take 'em down to the incinerator.

Or room 1006.

Thats where Jorba-ba-bath lives sometimes, they like to come and go, but their natural diet is Jabbers. So if they're in, as long as you dont look 'em in the eyes or give 'em your true name, or let them take a lock of your hair, you can give the Jabbers to them! They'll be grateful for the food, and will usually give you a boon of some kind. Sometimes they're pretty simple, like a gachapon prize but other times they're items of great power.

They're actually how i first met Agga, but thats a story for another day.

Ah dammit, gotta run. The Pale Folk Society from room 809 just went on a rampage again, its a mess up there.

Stay safe and don't forget to watch your back out their rookie, the world is a cold and dangerous place.

-Agatha

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