I’m not a kid

When I was younger, I’d get too excited over the small things like holidays

I was just a child being childlike, oblivious to everything

I had dreams I didn’t know I couldn’t achieve

I got candy and presents and food and I was happy with just that

Then I grew up, and realized my ignorance

I stopped wearing costumes, stopped eating so much, stopped waking my parents on Christmas Eve

Because showing that happiness was a sign of weakness and immaturity

The cool kids didn’t show their excitement, so neither should I

I still feel excited when the holidays come, although I don’t show it

I want to eat all the thanksgiving food, eat all the Halloween candy, open all the Christmas presents

But I don’t show it because I can’t

I’m not able to because showing emotions is showing weakness

I just want to be a kid again