Silly Rudyard, “Kips” are for Kids!

Like in Rudyard Kipling’s poem “The Winners,” I realized long ago that my friends were anchors. “A friend at a pinch is a friend indeed, but a fool to wait for the laggard behind,” Kipling wrote. My friends were holding me back, dragging me down to their lowest common denominator, and I was allowing them to do it. So I manned-up, ditched them, and moved far away. I gave myself a fresh chance to sober up, meet new people, and to re-invent myself. Not long after that I found love. Coincidence? Maybe in the minds of some.

Pooky-Bear is my only friend now (don’t tell my dogs), but she is so much more than a friend. She is also my partner, teammate, and inspiration. She removed failure as an option. Because of her, our daughter, and then our grandchildren, I felt I had to succeed, both to improve and secure their lives, and to set an example for when I am gone. I always knew I was capable of success, but for her I strove for it. In wanting her life to be wonderful, and in trying to make it so, my own life has become more than I ever dreamt it could be. It was only for love that I pushed myself, and stretched myself, and never settled; that I attempted and accomplished things I did not know I was capable of. Being depended upon makes all the difference. No man wants to look into hungry eyes, but for the life of me I cannot understand a man abandoning his home and family when doing so means he has failed in his greatest responsibility as a man. Is marital, and thus familial, success not the meter of a man’s maturity?

Mark Twain said (tongue in cheek, of course) that between he and Kipling they shared all knowledge. ”Kipling knows all there is to know, and I know the rest.” Twain was a very wise man. Kipling missed the mark in his poem’s second stanza, “Tenderest of voices cry ‘turn again,’ red lips tarnish the scabbarded steel. High hopes faint on a warm hearthstone... he travels the fastest who travels alone.” The right partner will speed you toward the journey’s end, not block your way... and a happy home is not a trap, Rudyard, but is rather a sanctuary from the ignoble world; a place to rest and recuperate, the better to meet the next day’s travails.

No, the real “Winners,” contrary to Kipling’s lines, pull the wagon in double harness, not alone. After all, even the poorest gambler knows that a pair of two’s will always trump a lone ace. Life is a team sport, but to keep from getting hurt you must be mature enough to play. Instead, let’s follow the ancient African proverb, ”If you want to go fast, go alone; but if you want to go far, go together.”

So let’s set a good pace My Love, and see just how far we can go. Let’s steer this wagon toward the finish line together, forever lightening each other’s loads, our eyes always on the prize, with neither of us ever going too fast to help one another along the way, nor going so slow as to hold the other back.

Together we will show old Rudyard Kipling who “The Winners” really are!