october thirtieth // fall/autumn/pumpkins/orange/red/yellow/leaves/nightmares

i.

stall, eyes rolling,

rolling, rolling BACK

into SKULL

ii.

bullet spearing

skin, reaching

deep into heart within

iii.

autumn winds

pressing close,

poking holes into my skin,

ripping deep,

it cries out in agony—

asks me what i’ve done

to cold body

iv.

whispers tucked

beneath orange leaves,

cradled by branches bent,

hands close, folded tight

v.

MISS YOU

vi.

wretched voices in my head,

tell them to “shut up, shut up, shut up!”

vii.

tuck bats under

ears, hang by

toes, whisper

pretty words

viii.

hear your voice in

night ears, you tell me

that you hate me,

you hate me,

(you hate me),

and you carve those words

right into my skin,

beneath my collarbone,

blood-red promises

you swear to keep

ix.

and i tell you

that it’s

okay